MARRIAGE: THERE'S NO WINNING

Handle invitations, rehearsal dinner, honeymoon and bachelor party

Regardless of how you play it, even the best marriage will eventually disappoint you on some level (even if you marry a female cyborg programmed to give head). Even good marriages are a constant wrestling match between your needs and hers.

Marriage, as an institution (pun intended), isn't bad in and of itself. What makes a marriage suck is bad choices. Someone who has a bad marriage is just a shitty judge of character. It's not an indictment of all marriages. Just bad ones. In the same way you can't “beat” death, you're can't “win” at marriage, either.

Really Get to Know the Girl You're Going to Marry

With any marriage, you are taking a chance. You can never be 100% sure, but do your homework upfront anyway. It's a helluva lot easier to get married than it is to get divorced, so don't make life-altering decisions impulsively. (Still got that tattoo of your first Ex-girlfriend's name on your bicep?)

When you're as sure you as you can be that you've got a keeper, make the decision and live with it. Remember, a so-so marriage to a so-so woman could always be worse. She could really be a man.