You are hereHOW TO THINK LIKE A GUY.
HOW TO THINK LIKE A GUY.
UNDER CONSTRUCTION
Dating advice for chicks:
"It's Valentines Day, and I'm expecting flowers and candy. What does he show up with? An Ab-Buster!" our friend Alyce revealed as the straw that finally broken the camel's back in her 3 year relationship with Bill. We all nodded, remembering an experience of our own when a man so completely misinterpreted our feelings.
The term "opposite sex" is more accurate than any of us would like to believe in these politically correct times. Men and women are as different as cats and dogs and we'll get along better if we remember that.
How, you ask, can acknowledging fundamental differences help us understand each more?
Simple. It will allow us to look at each other using a new set of criteria. Take the dog and cat example. They are similar--both make great pets, are loving and affectionate and can be house broken. But we also realize that they are very different.
In other words, we judge them by different standards that acknowledge their differences. We have different expectations for each of them.
That's exactly what men and women should remember when dealing with each other. We're not saying that we should have lower expectations, just different ones.
Take the classic sexual debate that has been around since the advent of indoor plumbing--the toilet seat: up or down. On a purely scientific basis, who said "down" is the normal position? From a male perspective, "up" is the standard position and we should learn to raise it when we're finished. There is no law that says the seat belongs down, but it is considerate for a man to put it down when he's done, if for no other reason than it makes sense.
But by looking at the situation in this light, each time a man puts the seat down, he is not doing what is merely expected (like driving on the right side of the street), he is actually going out of his way to be considerate of our feelings. He deserves praise for this, when most likely, we don't even notice. And that's why this is still a hotly debated issue. (Personally, we think the "right" answer is for everyone to put both the seat and lid down when they're done.)
Here's another example of different expectations.
You've been dating Mr. Maybe for months now and it's your birthday. Test time.
He gives you a brand new rod and reel, along with a brochure of the cabin he's rented on Lake Big-Mouth Bass for the weekend.
You: a) immediately start thinking of him as Mr. Right, or b) kick him out of your apartment now, before you have to share any cake with him.
Before you start herding him toward the door with the rod up his ass, try looking at the situation from his perspective. Fishing can be one of those sports that is very important to a guy. It's where he bonds with his buddy's, thinks about life and gets to kill things.
The fact that he wants to share it with you can be the most meaningful gift in the world. The arguments could be made, it's my birthday, and I don't like fishing so why should I be excited about the fact that he totally disregarded my feelings? True. But who hasn't bought a gift that reflects our way of thinking over the recipient's? (Remember the narrow ties you got your dad in an effort to make him cool? Or the orange sweater you loved for your best friend?--no one looks good in orange.) In genuine excitement for someone we care about, we often think of the gift as a way of showing how much alike we are. Besides, if they don't already know...
It actually requires much less effort and thought to get a woman jewelry or perfume, so this type of gift should be regarded with caution. If it's something you really wanted, it could be meaningful just that he remembered. On the other hand, every smooth-talking scumbag knows these always go over well. So, how would you rate Mr. Maybe's choice using this criteria?
Men are solution-oriented. If they go to the trouble of talking about something, it's because they want an answer. For women, talking is more of a sport. We talk for a variety of reasons, even simply as something to do. We don't necessarily want an answer, or rational assessment, just someone to listen. When a man simply listens, without offering any solutions (the stereotypic "yes, dear") it shows a lack of interest and concern, yet this is may be exactly what a woman wants. A man shows he cares about what you're saying by offering answers—exactly what a woman doesn't want when she's venting. In light of this, do you still consider Office-Man no friend of yours?
It's the fucking truth indeed. Women HATE answers because it compromises their "always right" mantra.
I say, answer, but give the most stupid answers which couldn't possibly be solutions. That way the women might actually come to a conclusion once in a while AND be right. What c*nt could ask for anything more?
This isn't always true! I only say things when i actually have something to say. My man doesn't know how to actually shut the fuck up. He needs to hear "yes and no" answers and then the etc etc.
I don't think men are "solution orientate" at all. I think they just say whatever first pops into their minds, which is usually irrational or just crazy.
I'll tell you: Flowers. Ones that smell good and not the absolute cheapest. And unless she's diabetic or allergic, chocolate. It's a no-brainer, guys. And a gift certificate for a massage. And a hand-written card that has more than one line written on it. That's it. That's your gift solution. You can use these for any occasion and a woman will not get tired of it. Thank the nice lady; she's just done your thinking for you.
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