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Please help me understand this
We had been going out for 5 years. Within the first month of the relationship she confided in me that she had been abused as a child by a neighbor (horrible things that I won't elaborate on). I told her it made no difference to me and from then on we were virtually inseparable.
But what had happened to her as a child obviously had an effect on her and our relationship. She was very insecure (thought she was ugly when in fact she was gorgeous), she constantly questioned why I would want to be "with a girl like her", and she sometimes freaked out when we got intimate because of repressed memories. She also threathened suicide several times when she was feeling particularly bad and fortunately she never acted on them. I did my best to try be there for her and in a way it brought us even closer.
In the end we were having some problems and around this time she told me about a guy who was bothering her at work. Usually I let her deal with guys hitting on her because usually it was just a one off thing with customers hitting on her at work (she's a waitress). But this time she said this one guy had been coming back to the restaurant for a few weeks and wasn't leaving her alone to the point it was frigtening her, so I had to step in. To make a long story short I confronted him and told him in not-so- nice terms to stop or else, which he did. A few weeks later we finally broke up.
A few days after breaking up I was hanging out with some friends when I saw her and the guy she said was bothering (the one I confronted) sitting together and kissing. WTF I thought to myself. Later when she came by to move her stuff out of my house I asked her what that was all about. She said the guy started pursuing her again when he learned we broke up and that she decided to go out on a few dates with him and furthermore in the weeks after we broke up she had been dating like 3 other guys.
Can any of the women (or even men) explain why she would go out with a guy she claimed was bothering her and especially why so soon? Does what happened to her as a child explain any of it? I'm just trying to put it together.
There can be a thousands explanation to this, the only real one is in the girls head. Do not bit yourself up, do not try to analyze or understand it. I know 5 years a tremendous amount of time, you can not just really through out of you live, and I am sure you have feelings if you put up with all the insecurities. I do not know how old you are, but seems like both of you pretty young. Just try to look within yourself, maybe she is not what you want. Do not suffer or feel unhappiness just let her go, I know its easier said than done, but try. There is a saying in the country where I am from " What is yours will always come back to you"
This topic is already posted in the "Bitch about girls" section.
She is repeating her past. Waiting that a dangerous guy does something bad to her so she could overcome it by herself. Either she will get abused again or she will fight and win (in her head) over her past. Just let her know that so she knows why she's attracted to those kind of guys.
She is repeating her past. Waiting that a dangerous guy does something bad to her so she could overcome it by herself. Either she will get abused again or she will fight and win (in her head) over her past. Just let her know that so she knows why she's attracted to those kind of guys.
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