IS PROZAC FUCKING UP YOUR SEX LIFE?

You gotta love science: Some "scientologist" in Australia apparently asked himself—and I'm just assuming it was a man—"I wonder if depressed chicks put out more than happy ones."

Well, thanks to inquiring minds like that, we now know the answer:

Yes—a full third more. And, according to a clinical psychologist at Monash University, it gets even better:

They also had more sexually liberated attitudes, a bigger variety of sexual experiences and, if single, were more likely to partake in casual sex...

So, basically, if your girlfriend is artificially happy on Prozac™, she's not as horny as she could be.

Or, if you're passing on the mopey, fat girl with acne in the corner who's cutting herself to feel something, then you're missing out on some easy, desperate sex. Not to mention, some obsessive and suffocating quality time together.

The study doesn't mention whether depressed or happy men have more sex, but based on common sense, I'm willing to bet it's the happy guys.