IT TAKES FEWER MUSCLES TO SMILE THAN TO CARVE OUT YOUR HEART WITH A KNIFE.

Here are a bunch of quotes that try to make us feel better about the fact that men and women hate each other.

I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
—Tom Clancy

You know "that look" women get when they want sex? Me neither.
—Steve Martin

Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
—Woody Allen

Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
—Rodney Dangerfield

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL.
—Lynn Lavner

Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant.
—George Burns

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships.
—Sharon Stone

Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.
—Robin Williams

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.
—Billy Crystal

According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful.
—Robert De Niro

There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked.
—Jerry Seinfeld

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house.
—Rod Stewart

See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.
—Robin Williams

Ha, ha. See? It's funny that men and women don't ever get along, right? Hilarious.