Submitted by Anonymous on Sat, 11/03/2007 - 12:48am.
You are right, of course...
I come from a generation and people, that worshipped bravery and skill, and the willingness to sacrifice ones self for the greater good.
The accompanying knowledge is that we are expendable, like ammunition...
You are too cold , too hot, too bad...are you hurt ? Good... pain proves you'r alive...keep moveing.
ALWAYS CARRY YOUR SHARE OF THE LOAD...AND MORE!
Thirsty? Think how good water will taste if you ever get some again...(and when we did, I NEVER drank first...I shared my canteen , always.)Our one true fear was to be wasted...dumped for nothing.
Now it has occurred to me that she took me at my word...Perhaps she had been reading my copy of Sun Tzu..."never attack you'r opponent where or how he expects...never attack where he is strong or prepared, always do the unexpected...all warfare is based on lies"...I must admit , she did just that...I am humbled before a master.
I was prepared for a John Wayne frontal assault on me and mine... and they quite easily rendered me ineffective.
Dude, thanks for makeing me take a look at myself...I was being a pussy. I was whineing about getting blindsided , when that's exactly how it should have been done!I, of all people fell for the myth of the "fair fight"...or the "true love".
I always tried to give her what she wanted...she used me to get just that...I was sacrificed just as I had always prepared myself to be( just not in the way that I expected)...why am I bitching?
I lost everything? Great! None of that crap is my responsibility anymore...Time to "cowboy up " and face what's next.
I will admit to some trepidation, I have always gotten my self image, my "raison de et terre", from being in my woman's eyes and heart...and for thirty years, there has always been a woman whom I could feel in the back of my mind, while I was alone out there in the cold and dark...and when I couldn't go no more, when my mind was about to break,(I've seen other men go that way, we call it the "twitchin' awfuls", ha)... when I was hurt, hungry, weak and sick...I could keep on keepin on , cause I was goin' back to her...
I'm not whineing ,Dude...I'll take what comes...I'm just askin...I got the WAY to do stuff, (you'd be surprised, even as an old fat man)...how do you go on without the WHY ?
You say I have to live for just me now...and you'r right, at my age it's too late to start again...wouldn't be fair to a woman to get her mixed up with me now...so alone it is, and if I am to have any comfort, I must make it for myself...So...
I been doin what I have to all my life ... I mean, we all WANT, you know...more ammunition, boots that fit, more food and water, the right tools to fix the shit that's broke...sex once in a while...I just don't know how to look...WHAT to look for ...Nobody has told me , and I don't know...what do I do next?
You are right, of course...
I come from a generation and people, that worshipped bravery and skill, and the willingness to sacrifice ones self for the greater good.
The accompanying knowledge is that we are expendable, like ammunition...
You are too cold , too hot, too bad...are you hurt ? Good... pain proves you'r alive...keep moveing.
ALWAYS CARRY YOUR SHARE OF THE LOAD...AND MORE!
Thirsty? Think how good water will taste if you ever get some again...(and when we did, I NEVER drank first...I shared my canteen , always.)Our one true fear was to be wasted...dumped for nothing.
Now it has occurred to me that she took me at my word...Perhaps she had been reading my copy of Sun Tzu..."never attack you'r opponent where or how he expects...never attack where he is strong or prepared, always do the unexpected...all warfare is based on lies"...I must admit , she did just that...I am humbled before a master.
I was prepared for a John Wayne frontal assault on me and mine... and they quite easily rendered me ineffective.
Dude, thanks for makeing me take a look at myself...I was being a pussy. I was whineing about getting blindsided , when that's exactly how it should have been done!I, of all people fell for the myth of the "fair fight"...or the "true love".
I always tried to give her what she wanted...she used me to get just that...I was sacrificed just as I had always prepared myself to be( just not in the way that I expected)...why am I bitching?
I lost everything? Great! None of that crap is my responsibility anymore...Time to "cowboy up " and face what's next.
I will admit to some trepidation, I have always gotten my self image, my "raison de et terre", from being in my woman's eyes and heart...and for thirty years, there has always been a woman whom I could feel in the back of my mind, while I was alone out there in the cold and dark...and when I couldn't go no more, when my mind was about to break,(I've seen other men go that way, we call it the "twitchin' awfuls", ha)... when I was hurt, hungry, weak and sick...I could keep on keepin on , cause I was goin' back to her...
I'm not whineing ,Dude...I'll take what comes...I'm just askin...I got the WAY to do stuff, (you'd be surprised, even as an old fat man)...how do you go on without the WHY ?
You say I have to live for just me now...and you'r right, at my age it's too late to start again...wouldn't be fair to a woman to get her mixed up with me now...so alone it is, and if I am to have any comfort, I must make it for myself...So...
I been doin what I have to all my life ... I mean, we all WANT, you know...more ammunition, boots that fit, more food and water, the right tools to fix the shit that's broke...sex once in a while...I just don't know how to look...WHAT to look for ...Nobody has told me , and I don't know...what do I do next?