HOW TO BE A GREAT LAY

How to Give Her Absolute Pleasure: Totally Explicit Techniques Every Woman Wants Her Man to Know.

Fucking is technically, and physically, pretty damn easy. Any adolescent shit-for-brains can do it (even you), so don't sweat it. All you do is get her naked, yourself naked, then ease your erect penis into her lubricated vagina, do your best jumping-frog impersonation and 3-5 minutes later-KA-BLOOIE!—you've painted her uterus with a coat of active spermatozoa. Congrats, you're a man (probably facing a shotgun wedding, paternity suit, alimony payments and/or the nickname “Birth-father” if you didn't wear a condom).

What makes you a “good” or “bad” lay depends on what a woman thinks of you. A chick who thinks you're gonna be a great lay, will probably “come” to find that true (get it?). And the best way to make a woman believe that is by actually being a great lay.

You don't have to last all night to be a great lay—although that doesn't hurt. Or have a huge cock—though that doesn't hurt either (well, not you anyway).

The Ultimate Guide to Cunnilingus: How to Go Down on a Woman and Give Her Exquisite Pleasure

Don't try telling a woman point blank that you can make her come like a show dog. Or, implying that you're hung like the Liberty Bell. Most women do not believe, nor respond to, wild exaggerations like that (and the ones who do will fully expect you to prove it, which can be embarrassing if you're at a funeral at the time).

Being a good lay requires research (see The Sex Trick later) and practice. Once you have a grasp of the finer points of fucking, you will exude the reserved confidence of a man who knows how to properly treat a woman's nether regions. And chicks can sense that shit like cats can sense earthquakes.