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HOW TO GET A DATE WITH A GIRL


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Getting a woman to go out with you is not easy. But it can be done. For the sake of argument, we're gonna assume that you're an average looking guy who's just not getting the chicks. Well, there's likely a good reason for that. And that reason is women don't like you.

But it's not your fault, entirely. Women don't like men in general. Men are rude, messy, often drunk, prone to fighting and they smell like...well, men. When you think about it, what's there to like? Not damn much. Which is why getting a chick is so hard for men. You have to overcome a woman's natural predisposition to avoid you as if you have an open sore and the Black Plague. The odds, friend, are against you.

A counter proposal:
Women are all too often ridiculous-in-expectations,unclean where it counts, way too sober, prone to excessive bitching, and they smell like "Vanilla Fields" (nose-curdling toxin worse than any natural gas).
Frankly, I'm amazed the Cyberpussy hasn't garnered an even more faithful following.
Tim, Fargo, ND

Uh, Tim...You got an address or catalog number fer that Cyberpussy? Over...

Ok I have no idea what cyberpussy is...but anything with that p-word in it is intriguing. As for women being physco clean, it's all true. I worked as a mop jockey at Burger King back in the day, and one time they had me cleaning the womens toilets. Jeezus, being a regular guy, I'd long grown accustomed to the idea that toilets are supposed to smell like stale shit. It's natural that way, right? Anyway, the women's toilets sure as hell didn't need cleaning and the whole place smelled like perfume. Dunno what the chicks do in there, but that ceramic water-filled sculpture must have made a pleasant conversation piece.

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