IS IT KINKY OR NON-CONSENSUAL?

Consensual SM: How to Talk About It and How to Do It Safely

When the lights go out, anything goes. Okay, well not everything. Despite all the controversy “kinky sex” stirs up in today's over conservative culture, there's really a pretty clear line between what's “deviant” behavior and what's “criminal”. And that line is consent. (In writing.)

Fetish Fashion: Undressing the Corset

When it comes right down to it, the only type of sex that's “wrong” is the non-consensual variety—be it with minors, animals or dead bodies. (Some dangerous kinks like auto-asphyxiation or blood play, even if they are consensual, may signal a need to talk to a professional—a psychiatrist, not a prostitute—to see whether you have some coo-coo issues.)

Fetish: Dominatrixes, bondage heroines, damsels in distress

So the best way to try BDSM is by finding women who are already involved with the community. Try classified ads with an alternative bent like Alt.com. (Dropping a “Let-me-tie-you-up-and-whip-you” pickup line on a “vanilla” (i.e. non-BDSM girl) is a sure way to spend 10-20 in the state pen.)

Roy Stuart: Volume II A window into the world of fetishes

The human body is wired up and down for some crazy sensations, so why let 'em go to waste? If you're over 18 and can find someone who will suck your toes until you orgasm, more power to you. If you're over 18 and can find someone who will love you even though you like to wear flippers and a Viking helmet, go nuts. If your twisted little bent isn't screwing up your life, work or other personal relationships, what harm is it doing? (All we ask is that you do everyone a favor and keep the blinds closed, okay? Nobody else wants to see that shit.)

WHAT CAUSES KINKINESS?

Forms of Desire A classic by Doris Kloster

So what causes humans to pursue such wacky, sexual behavior? In a textbook example of irony, it is PRECISELY the repressive, Puritan, if-it's-fun-it-must-be-bad attitude that leads to sexual deviation. Yes, hilariously, we have the religious nuts to thank for kinky sex. (Kudos, religious tight-asses! Without your misguided and hypocritical sexual repression, there'd be no SM, bondage or Nun fetishes. Internet porn webmasters, everywhere, thank you.)

The Corset: A Cultural History

By convincing people they have to be impossibly good; religion inadvertently creates an equal and opposite bad. (Ever notice how there are virtually no fetishes or sexual deviants among Buddhists? Hmmm...) The better people are expected to behave; the worse they want to behave. Not surprisingly, the activities that really excite people are the ones that are the most wrong. (pre-martial sex, screwing in church, bondage, etc., the list goes on longer than we care to type...) That's why committing a “sin” really gets your blood pumping, and your dick hard. Taboos actually encourage taboo behavior, just as rules lead to rule-breaking.

Fantasies of Fetishism:

Tell someone they can't do something (or someone) and that's exactly what they want to do. That's why marriage and committed relationships kinda suck. The “normalcy” and acceptability of a long-term relationship kills the hot, sexual excitement of doing something “bad.” Once it's acceptable to have sex, it's not as much fun (Who hasn't fucked in their parent's bedroom while they were away?) Married couples are always having sex in weird places and unnatural ways just to spice things up a bit. (Adult sex shops aren't going out of business as long as marriage is around.)

Sex: Take a Walk on the Wild Side: Masterpieces of Photography

Sure, sex inside a committed relationship can be great, but it's a more intimate, personal and fulfilling sex, as opposed to just hot, dirty and animalistic sex. It's probably why a lot of long-term couples eventually start doing anal.