FINDING WOMEN TO DATE - BLIND DATES

As a last resort to find that special someone, there are always blind dates. It's virtually inevitable that, at some point in your single life, you will be "fixed up" by a friend. Go on this date, and one of three things will happen.

1.) You will instantly hit it off, have a great time, continue dating, marry, have kids and live happily ever after. Sadly, this outcome is more rare than a Halley's comet fly-by.

2.) You won't hit it off, you'll argue, eat in silence, shake hands, then pretend to have other plans for the foreseeable future. This outcome is more common than a gay priest.

Or 3.) You won't have any strong feelings about her, you'll have a pleasant meal, maybe a peck on the cheek, a noncommittal agreement to "do this again sometime," after which you'll block her number on your mobile phone. Naturally, this outcome is the most likely.

Yet however your blind date plays out—for better or worse—it will be an eye-opening experience for you. Because it will tell you something you never knew before. Namely, what a huge loser your friend thinks you are.

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Think about it.

He's certainly not going to fix you up with a girl who's better than his own girlfriend (or else he'd be dating her). No, this is a girl your friend wants nothing to do with.

And that's when you find out exactly how low an opinion your friend has of you and your dating prospects. Remember, this is a girl your friend “hand-picked” for you. One he thinks is “in your league.” And she will embody the kind of worst-case dating scenario you've feared since you had your first erection.

She will be overweight, boring and possess some kind of annoying facial tick or speech impediment.

On the plus side, at least she'll be nice. (How can you be sure? Because fat girls HAVE to be nice—no guy wants to screw a fat, MEAN girl). But her genuinely caring personality will only make you feel bad about leaving her stranded at that truck stop on the Interstate.

So you may want to avoid blind dates altogether, if only to preserve the so-called “friendship” you have with that cocky prick who thinks he's better than you.