PERSONAL ADS - GETTING LAID IN 25 WORDS OR LESS

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If personal ads are so great, you may be asking, why haven't they worked for more people?

Quite simply, people are morons. When most people write a personal ad, they try to attract the most responses—in other words, the exact wrong way.

Remember, the purpose of a personal ad is not just to find someone to date, it's to find someone with common interests, and to avoid wasting your time with people you don't share interests.

You don't want quantity, you want quality.

The first mistake people make is not being specific. An ad that's too general results in generic messages that appeal to everyone indiscriminately—the exact problem you are trying to avoid. You have to eliminate vagueness, and with it, misinterpretation.

For example, writing that you love good movies, doesn't exclude anyone. Who doesn't love good movies? Plus, your idea of a “good” movie is probably different than someone else's. Some people think a good movie is any porno starring two blonde dwarfs and a mime.

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To keep the ad targeted, write “I love independent movies,” or “I love splatter-flicks.” Then maybe list a few examples.

Same goes with sense of humor. Who isn't looking for someone with a sense of humor? Give women an idea of what you think is funny. There's a big difference between Tim Allen-funny and Jackass-funny.

Tell the reader specifically what you mean, or else you're gonna end up wasting money on girls who don't have any more in common with you than the ability to read.

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Another mistake people make is limiting the number of words they use in a misguided attempt to be brief:

Don't be.

Say exactly what you want to say in as many words as it takes to say it. And don't use confusing abbreviations to condense the ad so much it doesn't make sense to anyone. Spell it out. It's worth the extra time and cost to make sure your ad isn't misinterpreted.

The hardest part of writing a good personal ad is being brutally honest with yourself about what traits and interests are truly important to you. (Is it really a deal-killer if the girl of your dreams likes Country music?)

Divide your list into Must-have traits and Like-to-have traits, based on what you can and can't live with. If "devote Christian" is a deal-killer, put it in the ad. If it's not, leave it off. You don't want to eliminate girls over Like-to-have traits.

But overall, you're better off excluding a lot of 'possibles' for the sake of attracting only 'definites'.

You may not get as many responses, but the ones you do get will be worth blowing your paychecks on.