CHEER UP, GETTING DUMPED WAS INEVITABLE

Hear that loud, annoying noise? Yeah, that's the Reality alarm. It's time to wake up, Mr. Delusional. This isn't the 1950s anymore. And the traditional male/female roles that you grew up believing are long dead. The new roles are being written everyday by men just like you, who are stumbling their way through the dark void of nothingness that is Modern Romance—a void with no up or down, left or right, right or wrong. Without an obvious direction forward or path to follow, it's no wonder guys are more lost than than a vegetarian at a barbecue.

Frankly, it's not surprising when a relationship disintegrates these days; it's surprising when it doesn't. Just as many relationships fail as succeed, proving that relationships are all crap-shoots anyway. You took your shot and threw snake-eyes. But does that mean you give up gambling? Hell, no. You just have a drink and try another table.

The 1950s (American Popular Culture Through History) Have the 1950s been overly romanticized? You fucking know it.

Hey, some things were just never meant to be. Like the Cubbies winning the Pennant. Diamond Dave staying with Van Halen. Or Kelly Osbourne having a “singing career.” Some things just aren't in the stars. You try to make them work but, no matter how hard you work at them, they still turn to shit. No matter how many times you resist telling her, “Those pants don't make you look fat, your ass does,” you just can't keep it together. Still, even though your love took a header into a dumpster, don't take it too badly. It has a shit-load of company.