WHY STALKING EX-GIRLFRIENDS MAKES YOU A LOSER

During this dateless and desperate time, you may entertain dangerous thoughts that you'd normally keep locked up in the dark recesses of your mind (right along with that fantasy about sexing up the family dog). And after a breakup, it's only natural to be curious about what your Ex is doing (or whom). But do yourself a favor and resist the tempting urge to drop by her house late toting a light-gathering night scope.

That's not heart-felt concern, or idle curiosity. That's stalking, plain and simple.

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And all stalking accomplishes is making you look needy, insecure and fairly psychotic. It doesn't show persistence, it shows desperation. Listen, if you stalk your Ex, then you're only proving that you're as pathetic as she thought (and justifying her showing your ass to the door).

Do you really want to give her that satisfaction? Yeah, didn't think so.

That being the case, do NOT stalk or harass your Ex in any way, shape or form. Ever. It's illegal, in case you didn't know, and you can be damn sure she won't hesitate to call the cops on your ass. Then you'll know what it's like to be on the receiving end of unwelcome “attention” from a hairy guy named “Buzz-saw” who thinks you've got a pretty mouth.

Once you get “stalker” on your police record, you're branded for life as Way Crazy. And you deserve it, cuz you are, you nut-job. You wouldn't want one of your Exes coming after you with a boiled rabbit, would you?

Besides, what do you hope to gain from it? Do you honestly think she will be so flattered that she'll come back to you? “Oh, Bob, I didn't think you cared enough to stalk me!” C'mon, nothing short of turning gay could lower your chances of getting your Ex back. No girl EVER goes back to a stalker. Period. It doesn't happen. EVER. Spell it with us...E-V-E-R.

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On the other hand, if you DON'T stalk her, she just might come back to you. Why? Because women like being with winners. And the easiest way to portray yourself as a winner is to have the self-esteem NOT to go crawling back to the very girl who broke up with you. Show some spine (and maybe some 'nads). Leave her the hell alone. Stalking is a no-win situation. So don't bother.