REASONS NOT TO GET MARRIED - COMPANIONSHIP

Misery (DVD) Remember how this almost turned out?

If you're getting married because you want companionship, get a dog. It'll be more affectionate, cost less and won't bitch about everything you do, or don't do. Besides, marriage doesn't guarantee companionship as much as it guarantees “togetherness.” And togetherness isn't always a good thing; imagine being chained to a toilet with one of your parents for 20 years. (Yeah, togetherness isn't so great now, is it?)

Most guys tend to gloss over a girl's less-than-ideal traits when first dating. But, when you're married to that girl—and you can't get away from those traits—they're all you notice. And living with a woman who annoys you day after day, month after month and year after year will, sooner or later, drive you to purchase a heavy-duty wood-chipper (even though you don't live near any trees).