REASONS NOT TO GET MARRIED - DIFFERENT RACES.

Jungle Fever directed by Spike Lee

Race is another potential cause of death for Love, and a semi-legitimate reason not to get married (before you start screaming “racism,” hear us out). The problem with interracial marriage has more to do with traditions and attitudes than it does skin color, or any “contaminating” of the gene pool (sorry, Neo-Nazis). Hell, there's no faster cure for racism than widespread interbreeding. We say, Impregnate a woman of every nationality and let's end racial discrimination in our generation!)

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It's an obvious fact that people of different cultures think and believe differently than one another (hence the adjective “different”). And these ingrained differences bring out the deep-seated crazy in any couple. So you can't take for granted that a girl from India will have similar beliefs or expectations as a girl from Idaho. Not only that, their families won't have the same beliefs or expectations. By marrying into a different culture, you're setting yourself up to disappoint and/or anger a lot of people who can turn your marriage into a battlefield. If you don't intimately know what all the unspoken differences are, where they come from and how to deal with them, you're going to be fighting some very one-sided battles; with you on the losing side.

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You don't want to get hitched to a girl only to later find that her family expects you to perform the yearly ritual slaughtering of a virgin goat to appease the Volcano God's unholy wrath, do you? (Of course not. That would just piss off the Glacier God, and you know what a mofo he is). What we're saying is, if you're not willing to do your homework on her culture and its history, you might want to admit to yourself really just like fucking a foreign girl and call off the wedding before you set off an even worse global climate change than we already have.