REASONS NOT TO GET MARRIED - WANT LOTS OF SEX

The Myth of Monogamy: Fidelity and Infidelity in Animals and People

For most guys, the most compelling reason to get married is regular sex. Sounds good on the surface, but there is some “disclaimer type” in the wedding deal; words that most guys don't really take seriously enough.

The case against marriage can be made (and rested) solely on the basis that marriage—and more specifically, monogamy—is an “unnatural” state. The whole concept of committing to one woman blatantly contradicts man's primary reason for being; spreading his seed in as many different vaginas as possible (good work if you can find it). Unfortunately, man's primary reason for being clashes bitterly with women's primary reason for being—namely, getting a man to help raise her offspring to maturity—a decidedly more involved, time-consuming reason for being.

Anatomy of Love: A Natural History of Mating, Marriage, and Why We Stray

It's no surprise, then, that women came up with a devious, underhanded (some might say, evil) way to keep their man around (past conception): The “promise” of regular sex. Of course, a woman's idea of “regular” is nothing like a man's. While most guys think regular means as often as they take dumps, women think regular is more like as often as they have birthdays.

Satisfaction: The Science of Finding True Fulfillment

Worse, married women know they own the only vagina married guys are legally allowed near, and yet, for some unknown reason, women are not compelled by law to put out. There's no government-mandated quota, minimum or anything. Even more amazingly, the withholding of sex from a husband is not—and probably never will be—a punishable offense. It's tantamount to legalized blackmail. (You know why it's not illegal? Because the bureaucrats in Washington are all married. And there's no more powerful lobby group than the one that has a firm grip on your balls.)

The American Males Guide on How to Get More Pussy Just what it says

So be warned: If your main reason for getting married is the constant availability of easy sex, you've been reading too many bridal magazines. (Ever notice fairy tale characters only live “happily ever after,” not “sex-crazed ever after”? Didn't think so. Nobody does.) Marriage is no assurance of frequent sex. Sure, to the outside world, it appears as if married guys can always have sex, but that's not exactly the case. Any time a married guy wants sex, he has to wade through a complex series of negotiations with his wife tougher than an Israeli/Palestine peace accord, usually involving promises of yard work or expensive jewelry. And that's just for Missionary Position. Wait until you try to get oral.