Kinky

SM 101: A Realistic Introduction

Russian scientists, who are apparently no longer employed at the nuclear ICBM factory, have discovered that whipping a depressed person is therapeutic.

UNDER CONSTRUCTION

Dating advice for chicks:

There's already a whole other book called the Kama Sutra written to explain all the physically possible positions two human bodies can assume while having sex, so we won't go into that here. Instead let's look at some of the more creative, fringe opportunities.

S&M

SM 101: A Realistic Introduction

People used to call it S&M. Now it's just SM. The initials stand for Sadism and Masochism, or Sadomasochism. The former, sadist—referring to someone who gets off causing other people pain (your Ex, for instance). And the latter, masochist—referring to someone who gets off receiving pain (like your Dad). There are whole communities out there dedicated to mental and physical abuse; for non-Catholics, there are SM clubs.

Different Loving: A Complete Exploration of the World of Sexual Dominance and Submission

Do SMers sound like a bunch of nut balls? Well, get off your high-horse there, Ms. Kettle. You wouldn't be reading this if you weren't sex-obsessed like everyone else. (Even if you just “wandered innocently” to these words, you're STILL reading about it, and voyeurism counts as deviant behavior too, Peeping Thomasita.) Everybody has their own sick and/or twisted way of making it through the lonely nights. And, who knows, maybe SMers are on to something here. And that something they're on is drugs.

Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism

Let's talk morphine. It's a painkiller hospitals give to patients who don't want to feel, well, anything. It's very popular. So popular, in fact, that people become addicted to the stuff. And lives get ruined because of it, such as [insert celebrity name here]. Morphine is powerful shit. Naturally, the government won't let you buy it over the counter at your local drugstore. But, what if you could concoct a drug a lot like morphine? Legally. That'd be worth a look-see, wouldn't it? Damn straight, it would.

The Ultimate Guide to Sexual Fantasy: How to Turn Your Fantasies into Reality

It's called an “endorphin”. Your body's own home-brewed painkiller. And when you're good and horned-up, endorphins speed through your body like a Tasmanian devil on Crystal Meth making you feel euphoric and nigh impervious to pain. The effect is similar to what's called, “Runner's High.” (Endorphins are why you can do crazy sex gymnastics in the bedroom, fuck for hours and never feel bad until the next day when they wear off and you're sore in muscles you never even knew you had). Taken to extremes, endorphins let SMers do that weird shit you see in bizarre sex magazines like hanging from hooks impaled in their back. You know, freak show stuff.

Taboo: Forbidden Fantasies for Couples

It's not that the pain doesn't hurt; it's just that the pain doesn't hurt as BADLY as it seems. Pain in the context of a sexually charged situation is VASTLY different from pain in a normal everyday situation. SMers don't get excited if they stub their toe, or you punch them in the head. (You have to chain them to a big wooden cross first.)

Fetish: Dominatrixes, bondage heroines, damsels in distress

An off-shoot of SM is Bondage and Dominance. (Sometimes they're both combined into one acronym “BDSM”). BD differs from SM in that it's less about the physical pain itself and more about the mental aspect of power exchange. BD is about control and responsibility, or the lack thereof. Giving up of control heightens the sexual experience by making the “victim,” or submissive, feel helpless and out of control, and/or by making the Dominant feel totally in control. BDSM fans create an environment of 'controlled terror', and possibly pain, to crank up the production of endorphins making getting spanked or whipped a pleasurable rush; an intense high. All without controlled substances of any kind.

BSDM may seem weird, but you've gotta admit; the act of “normal” sex is pretty fucking weird by itself. Seriously, what difference does getting tied up and spanked really make when you're already playing Stick His Penis In Your Vagina?

Let's try to keep perspective here, people.

UNDER CONSTRUCTION

Dating advice for chicks:

Forms of Desire A classic by Doris Kloster

So what causes humans to pursue such wacky, sexual behavior? In a textbook example of irony, it is PRECISELY the repressive, Puritan, if-it's-fun-it-must-be-bad attitude that leads to sexual deviation. Yes, hilariously, we have the religious nuts to thank for kinky sex. (Kudos, religious tight-asses! Without your misguided and hypocritical sexual repression, there'd be no SM, bondage or Nun fetishes. Internet porn webmasters, everywhere, thank you.)

The Corset: A Cultural History

By convincing people they have to be impossibly good; religion inadvertently creates an equal and opposite bad. (Ever notice that there are virtually no fetishes or sexual deviants among Buddhists? Hmmm...) The better people are expected to behave; the worse they want to behave. Not surprisingly, the activities that really excite people are the ones that are the most wrong. (pre-martial sex, screwing in church, bondage, etc., the list goes on longer than we care to type...) That's why committing a “sin” really gets your blood pumping, and your dick hard. Taboos actually encourage taboo behavior, just as rules lead to rule-breaking.

Fantasies of Fetishism: From Decadence to the Post-Human

Tell someone they can't do something (or someone) and that's exactly what they want to do. That's why marriage and committed relationships kinda suck. The “normalcy” and acceptability of a long-term relationship kills the hot, sexual excitement of doing something “bad.” Once it's acceptable to have sex, it's not as much fun (Who hasn't had sex in their parent's bedroom while they were away?) Married couples are always having sex in weird places and unnatural ways just to spice things up a bit. (Adult sex shops aren't going out of business as long as marriage is around.)

Sure, sex inside a committed relationship can be great, but it's a more intimate, personal and fulfilling sex, as opposed to just hot, dirty and animalistic sex. It's probably why a lot of long-term couples eventually start doing anal.

SM 101: A Realistic Introduction

Once you've mastered The Sex Trick^®, you may be getting so much tail that ordinary missionary-style sex could get boring (dare to dream). There's already a whole other book called the Kama Sutra written to explain all the physically possible positions two human bodies can assume while having sex, so we won't go into that here. Instead let's look at some of the more creative, fringe opportunities.

Different Loving: A Complete Exploration of the World of Sexual Dominance and Submission

Sadomasochism

People used to call it S&M. Now it's just SM. The initials stand for Sadism and Masochism, or Sadomasochism. The former, sadist—referring to someone who gets off causing other people pain (your ex, for instance). And the latter, masochist—referring to someone who gets off receiving pain (like your Dad). There are whole communities out there dedicated to mental and physical abuse; for non-Catholics, there are SM clubs.

Do SMers sound like a bunch of nut balls? Well, get off your high-horse there, Mister Kettle. You wouldn't be reading this if you weren't sex-obsessed like everyone else. (Even if you just “wandered innocently” to these words, you're STILL reading about it, and voyeurism counts as deviant behavior too, Peeping Thomas.) Everybody has their own sick and/or twisted way of making it through the lonely nights. And, who knows, maybe SMers are on to something here. And maybe that something they're on is drugs.

Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism

Let's talk morphine. It's a painkiller hospitals give to patients who don't want to feel, well, anything. It's very popular. So popular, in fact, that people become addicted to the stuff. And lives get ruined because of it, such as [insert celebrity name here]. Morphine is powerful shit. Naturally, the government won't let you buy it over the counter at your local drugstore. But, what if you could concoct a drug a lot like morphine? Legally. That'd be worth a look-see, wouldn't it? Damn straight, it would.

The Ultimate Guide to Sexual Fantasy: How to Turn Your Fantasies into Reality

It's called “endorphins”. Your body's own home brewed painkillers. And when you're good and horned-up, endorphins speed through your body like a Tasmanian devil on Crystal Meth making you feel euphoric and nigh impervious to pain. The effect is similar to what's called, “Runner's High.” (Endorphins are why you can do crazy sex gymnastics in the bedroom, fuck for hours and never feel bad until the next day when they wear off and you're sore in muscles you never even knew you had). Taken to extremes, endorphins let SMers do all that weird sex shit you see in magazines like hanging from hooks impaled in their back. You know, freak show stuff.

Taboo: Forbidden Fantasies for Couples

It's not that the pain doesn't hurt; it's just that the pain doesn't hurt as BADLY as it seems. Pain in the context of a sexually charged situation is VASTLY different from pain in a normal everyday situation. SMers don't get excited if they stub their toe, or you punch them in the head. (You have to chain them to a big wooden cross first.)

Fetish: Dominatrixes, bondage heroines, damsels in distress

An off-shoot of SM is Bondage and Dominance. (Sometimes they're both combined into one acronym “BDSM”). BD differs from SM in that it's less about the physical pain itself and more about the mental aspect of power exchange. BD is about control and responsibility, or the lack thereof. Giving up of control heightens the sexual experience by making the “victim,” or submissive, feel helpless and out of control, and/or by making the Dominant feel totally in control. BDSM fans create an environment of 'controlled terror', and possibly pain, to crank up the production of endorphins making getting spanked or whipped a pleasurable rush; an intense high. All without controlled substances of any kind.

BSDM may seem weird, but you've gotta admit; the act of “normal” sex is pretty fucking weird by itself. Seriously, what difference does getting tied up and spanked really make when you're already playing Stick Your Penis In Her Vagina? Let's keep perspective here, people.

Consensual SM: How to Talk About It and How to Do It Safely

When the lights go out, anything goes. Okay, well not everything. Despite all the controversy “kinky sex” stirs up in today's over conservative culture, there's really a pretty clear line between what's “deviant” behavior and what's “criminal”. And that line is consent. (In writing.)

Fetish Fashion: Undressing the Corset

When it comes right down to it, the only type of sex that's “wrong” is the non-consensual variety—be it with minors, animals or dead bodies. (Some dangerous kinks like auto-asphyxiation or blood play, even if they are consensual, may signal a need to talk to a professional—a psychiatrist, not a prostitute—to see whether you have some coo-coo issues.)

Fetish: Dominatrixes, bondage heroines, damsels in distress

So the best way to try BDSM is by finding women who are already involved with the community. Try classified ads with an alternative bent like Alt.com. (Dropping a “Let-me-tie-you-up-and-whip-you” pickup line on a “vanilla” (i.e. non-BDSM girl) is a sure way to spend 10-20 in the state pen.)

Roy Stuart: Volume II A window into the world of fetishes

The human body is wired up and down for some crazy sensations, so why let 'em go to waste? If you're over 18 and can find someone who will suck your toes until you orgasm, more power to you. If you're over 18 and can find someone who will love you even though you like to wear flippers and a Viking helmet, go nuts. If your twisted little bent isn't screwing up your life, work or other personal relationships, what harm is it doing? (All we ask is that you do everyone a favor and keep the blinds closed, okay? Nobody else wants to see that shit.)

WHAT CAUSES KINKINESS?

Forms of Desire A classic by Doris Kloster

So what causes humans to pursue such wacky, sexual behavior? In a textbook example of irony, it is PRECISELY the repressive, Puritan, if-it's-fun-it-must-be-bad attitude that leads to sexual deviation. Yes, hilariously, we have the religious nuts to thank for kinky sex. (Kudos, religious tight-asses! Without your misguided and hypocritical sexual repression, there'd be no SM, bondage or Nun fetishes. Internet porn webmasters, everywhere, thank you.)

The Corset: A Cultural History

By convincing people they have to be impossibly good; religion inadvertently creates an equal and opposite bad. (Ever notice how there are virtually no fetishes or sexual deviants among Buddhists? Hmmm...) The better people are expected to behave; the worse they want to behave. Not surprisingly, the activities that really excite people are the ones that are the most wrong. (pre-martial sex, screwing in church, bondage, etc., the list goes on longer than we care to type...) That's why committing a “sin” really gets your blood pumping, and your dick hard. Taboos actually encourage taboo behavior, just as rules lead to rule-breaking.

Fantasies of Fetishism:

Tell someone they can't do something (or someone) and that's exactly what they want to do. That's why marriage and committed relationships kinda suck. The “normalcy” and acceptability of a long-term relationship kills the hot, sexual excitement of doing something “bad.” Once it's acceptable to have sex, it's not as much fun (Who hasn't fucked in their parent's bedroom while they were away?) Married couples are always having sex in weird places and unnatural ways just to spice things up a bit. (Adult sex shops aren't going out of business as long as marriage is around.)

Sex: Take a Walk on the Wild Side: Masterpieces of Photography

Sure, sex inside a committed relationship can be great, but it's a more intimate, personal and fulfilling sex, as opposed to just hot, dirty and animalistic sex. It's probably why a lot of long-term couples eventually start doing anal.