Love

Yeah, we know this is late, but we can't be on top of every fucking news item. Besides, misery is timeless. We just found these amusing poems from a self-described "pop culture princess": Pamie's Eighth Annual Valentine's Day Poems.
Enjoy.

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This is dating advice for chicks. Click on the topic you want, or start with the first one and read them all using the navigation at the bottom of each page.

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Dating advice for chicks:

Shut Up and Smile: the Dark Side of modeling Exposes the seedy underbelly of the fashion business.

Quick. Off the top of your head, list the number of happy relationships you know. Not many, we'll wager. Why is that?

Personally, we blame Hollywood. And here's why—unrealistic expectations. We're not saying that you won't find a gorgeous partner who loves and adores you 24/7. Only that Hollywood incorrectly makes people EXPECT that. (And frankly, there's only so many supermodels out there to go around.) Does that mean you have to settle? Not at all.

Are you meeting the wrong people online?

Hollywood has taught us to believe everyone should seek a model-perfect mate. So we're in a perpetual state of waiting to see what's coming down the pike. Americans are basically shoppers—pretty damn good ones, too. But we don't shop for mates the way we shop for most things. And maybe we should.

Dating is very similar to shopping for a car.

You look around and see what's out there, take a few of the better ones out for a test drive around the block, and buy the one you like best. The main difference is that while you're testing it, it's testing you. (Cars can't tell you to take a flying leap. Of course, they can't steal your CD collection either, so maybe it's a wash.) Either way, you need a new way of thinking about what you are looking for in a mate.

Because all sales are final.

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Dating advice for chicks:

Yeah, we know you really loved him. Yes, we know you had something “special”. Yes, we know he told you he loved you. Yes, we know no one else had even been as happy together as you two. Blah, blah, blah.

But if he really loved you, you wouldn't be at this site, would you? No. You'd be making the two-backed beast and annoying the downstairs neighbors.

So, as painful as it is to admit, he didn't love you. It sucks, sure, but don't take it personally. Why not? Because all it means is that they weren't right for you. Bummer, huh? Well, deal with it.

Guess what? He is one of 6 billion homo sapiens on this planet. So even if the love of your life was one in a million, there are still 6,000 people EXACTLY like them. Frankly, he isn't all that special.

What you have to remember is that most of the time, people are looking for something different, not better. That's why even beautiful people get cheated on. Just look at [insert latest shocking celebrity breakup here].

“No matter how attractive someone is, there's always somebody who's sick and tired of putting up with their shit.” -- Unknown Genius

Love is a combination of traits (personality, temperament, education, sense of humor, looks, etc.). And most people are looking for someone who has the right combination for them (and you should be looking for that, too.)

So it's not a case of finding someone that's BETTER than you--as if you are a worthless piece of scum—but just different than you. Maybe you're too intense for them. Or too funny. Or not docile enough. Or too nice. Or maybe they're using some arbitrary bullshit thing like your teeth aren't white enough. Hey, it happens.

People are idiots. Even people you love. (Look at your parents.)

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Dating advice for chicks:

This is the best definition we've heard. Love is when BOTH of you think you're "dating up".

In other words, you feel as though you're getting someone better than you deserve. You think you're getting away with something.

Or, as Artie Shaw was quoted as saying, "Love is an agreement between two people to overestimate each other." Brilliant.

But it ABSOLUTELY has to be mutual.

We can't stress this enough. And the only way to tell is through actions. Are they acting like they wouldn't rather be anywhere besides with you?

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This is the basis of respect and it's the only thing that will keep a relationship together the next time some 19-year-old with tight buns smiles at one of you.

Love isn't the romantic crap they spout on TV-movies or in Romance novels. Because no one can read your mind well enough to provide that. Love is a partnership with sex thrown in for fun.

Love is not about "completing" someone.

It's not a healthy relationship unless both of you are fully formed, well-adjusted adults already. And it's not about "needs". It's about "wants". If you really need someone, maybe you're a little too desperate and should seek serious counseling. Wanting someone is a conscious decision. It's selfish, but in a healthy way.

FIND OUT IF YOU'RE WASTING YOUR TIME.
Get free insight into any guy from Astrology.com

Just don't kid yourself that you're in love when you're not sure the other person feels the same way. If they do, you might be. If they don't, you aren't.

You'll recognize Love because it will be unlike anything you've ever experienced. That's why people say, you'll know. Because you will. (You must then, by definition, not marry the first person you date or you'll have no basis for comparison...)