An unappreciated soul
I am probably being really silly here, but it seems that everywhere I go, I feel I am getting negative responses (both talking behind my back or just looking) from girls. It may be that half the time this is just in my head, but I just don't know. I mean, I can't just go up to them and ask 'were you talking about me just now?' on the stairs at my college. My case is very much along the lines of the guy in an earlier topic, 'Women have a high school mentality'.
Only in July I had a nose job to rid myself of my distracting oversized conk, but my teeth aren't brilliant and I have two scars by my left eye (which I got through two isolated incidents during childhood). I am, however, gradually improving my appearance. I shower regularly, and I always wear the best clothes I can get hold of. I even look the best I can when I go to college. I always open the door for them, and smile where possible. But I still feel that they don't appreciate my efforts. I try to avoid being the sort who ogles over them, because I know that they must get that all the time. I am now of the verge of not approaching or even looking at girls at all so that they won't look back and look at me coldly, or act hostile towards me or move away from me. At parties and in clubs, it's just as bad. My confidence has totally diminished, and I just can't enjoy life any more because everyone in this world is horrible. I feel totally fated, and it feels like getting good stuff in this life is a crime. Why does life have to be so tough on ME? It's there really anything that wrong with me? :cry: :x
Can anyone out there help? Anyone, but I would also like a response from a female if possible. bims0487 from the uk! :?:
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Re:An unappreciated soul
You're not being silly, trust me i know how it goes. I'm 20, almost 21, a 3rd year university student, an adult, and i look like a bloody kid...well about 15 anyway. Because of this, i often cop a bit of crap from people who don't know or like me, particularly chicks. I'm roughly 165cm tall, and quite overweight, and in this part of the world at least, a lot of girls seem to be obsessed with guys who look exactly the opposite, tall and slim. To be honest I am sick and tired with this world, how most people seem to put looks as a higher priority over everything else. IMHO its nice for someone to look good, but to me at least it doesn't even RATE as a priority...think about it, you have two cars, one's a riced up 4 cylinder front wheel drive shitbox, and the other's a white, stock looking Commodore Executive (a boring family car) with a worked Chevy LS2...what one is better? Sure, the ricer might look cooler, but the Commodore with the worked LS2 is still better, even if it doesn't look that flash. To be honest i've given up on being "Mr Safe/Nice". For me it just does not work at all. If anything, it only causes me to get burned by chicks who just want to use me as either a prop or an emotional tampon.
Re:An unappreciated soul
Your life will be as hard on you as you make it. Stop complaining! Your problem, as you said is confidence. Stop worrying about what people think/say about you. Why the hell do you care? Girls can sniff out confidence from miles away. Just by a glance at you they know if you're confident or not. So, stop feeling bad about yourself. Go make a difference. TALK TO GIRLS! Don't be Mr. Nice guy, be a guy they can socialize and laugh with. Show them you have confidence, don't give a shit what they say or do. Care about YOU!
Just my .02
-decz
Re:An unappreciated soul
I'd have to agree with decz - confidence goes a very long way with girls, but don't try to be something you're not as this tends to go down like a lead balloon! Develop interests that will improve your confidence and take your mind away from worrying what other people think of you, but at the same time allow you to socialise.
I have an obvious scar on my face, which I've had since childhood, and I used to get quite hung up about it. Now I don't care - it's only a piece of skin, and it makes me more "individual" :D
Carry on taking care of yourself, but don't go mad on appearance-altering surgery. Being polite and considerate is very commendable and should be encouraged, but don't allow yourself to become a doormat for the sake of being "socially acceptable".
Those who are caught up on appearances (and both genders are guilty of this) are not worth sweating over, and clearly have major insecurities about themselves which they hitherto been unable to face and / or deal with. Let them be and live your life with the goal of being the best person you can despite adversity.
Game on!!
PS I'm female. My last boyfriend was only a couple of inches taller than me (and I'm not the tallest!), had a tendency to put weight on quite easily, was very very hairy, and balding... but I loved him to bits! I loved his personality, his laugh, and all those "man" traits that seem to cause such a divide between the sexes (along with the "woman" traits!). We separated for reasons not associated with looks, money, or third-party interference; we remain friends to this day, and I hope we always will.
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