Oh I've reached a new low (or high, depending on your view)

Hey Syd,way to go on getting some brownie points with the boss (jk). It's always sad to see things not work out as you'd hoped. What the heck is up with this guy "Jake"? Does he have any idea what a cool girl he's missing out on? Been hit in the head too many times with the stupid stick? Geez. He'll figure it out soon enough.

Not much going on here.I'm still with my BF of almost 4yrs (it'll be 4 yrs next month actually).Things are going ok with him, we're not fighting but--I don't know, I guess at this point i'm wondering how everything will end up. I don't want to say "shit or get off the pot" and am not sure that i'd want to marry him anyway. I love him so much but am uncertain about the future. I suppose it's hard to walk away from someone you love even if you don't think it will last forever (the relationship, I mean). Other than that, i'm just spending my time working a lot and going to quite a few concerts (lately there seems to be something good almost every weekend).They seem to be a good distraction from my nagging issues with getting old and discontent with work and relationships. I'm sure avoiding the issues is not the best idea, but there you have it. Sorry, i'm a bit sleep deprived (concert last night too) and grouchy today. Hope everyone in the Bitch Board Posse is doing well.

I'm actually going on a quasi-date w/ Gerrard on Monday. He genuinely likes me. He hates calling people but he called me the day after, I was flattered. :) Thanks for the ego boost. Jake is a beautiful guy but sincerely troubled. Plus, I guess I'm not his type. Ah well. He was the first guy to ever reject me so it's going to be a little hard to let is slide but I will, eventually.

I'm glad you and your boyfriend are doing okay and it's absolutely alright if you don't know where the relationship is going. Going with flow means not knowing where you're heading. Take it one step at a time hun and you'll be fine.

What concerts? Any bands you suggest I listen to?

thanks for the reassurance Syd.have fun on your date.i've been rejected before (not a lot though, guys seem to dig chicks that know what/who they want), so you'll get over it very quickly, promise.

What type of music do you generally go for? here's what i've been seeing lately:

Weezer (everyone knows who they are),Less Than Jake (my personal favorite--seen em 8 times. they're ska/punk), Yerba Buena (latin band from NY, so much fun live too) plus a few local ska bands here that I love such as The Cohorts and Rude Squad(check them out on myspace, they're awesome). And coming up...i'm seeing Fall out boy (a friend is making me go) and Depeche Mode (again-fantastic in concert, i highly recommed it).Hmmm...I know there is more, but I can't remember it all at the moment.

My date was pretty swanky. Sometimes I can't help but laugh at how nervous guys are around me. Especially if they're older than me. It makes me giggle. We watched [u]A History In Violence[/u] which was awesome. Then we hung out at his place and yeah, it was brief but fun. He had to go to work shortly thereafter. It's strange how after you lose your virginity, it's terribly easy to skip the preliminaries and go straight to sex. I don't know if that's good or bad, it just is.

Yeah, I saw Weezer twice. After the green album I lost quite a bit of interest. Still love their old stuff though. I've heard some Less Than Jake stuff and liked it very much. I don't know why ska became so unfashionable. I guess being happy became uncool for awhile. Weird. Yerba Buena eh? I wanna check out their stuff, anything I should download particularly? I love Depeche Mode, never saw them in concert though.

I don't know if you'd dig these bands but here are some I adore whole heartedly: Coheed and Cambria (saw them thrice and met them, they're sweethearts and fucking amazing live), Broken Social Scene (saw them twice, two free shows in fact, fairly happy, groovy music), Postal Service (80s synth influences with horribly romantic lyrics, download "Brand New Colony" and "The District Sleeps Alone Tonight"), Death From Above 1979 ("Romantic Rights" and "Sexy Results" are two of my fav songs), Reggie and the Full Effect (80s synth, metal, hardcore all into one, download "Take Me Home, Please" Mood 4 Luv" and "Get Well soon"), Bloc Party (you probably have heard of them, they're pretty effin' good, download "So Here We Are," "Blue Light" and "Banquet"), The Mars Volta (incredible band, salsa, rock, funk...wonderfu;), Belle and Sebastian, Stars, Metric, Moneen...

Music is good.

Hey Syd. Sounds like the guy just isn't interested or just really doesn't want anything right now. Eh, his loss.

Few things new on my end. Just finished moving into my new place just outside of Philadelphia. Much bigger than my old apartment. My condo has a huge living room with fireplace, full kitchen, balcony, two bedrooms (going to turn the second bedroom into an office), and huge bathroom. I love it.

On the relationship end. I'm actually in one now. Trisha and I have been doing great for a while and have a blast everytime we hang out. Not sure if I see this as something long term. Only red-flag I have with her, and it's kinda big, is that she has mostly guy friends, and she's a bit dumb. By dumb I mean she is the kind of chick that would tell a total stranger where she lives and that she lives alone. I also feel that she's the kind of chick that would head to a party, get trashed then wonder why she got used and cheated. That's just my personal opinion of what I could see happening with her due to my observations. So, I believe due to this huge red-flag I'll continue to look for other chicks but, of course, be faithful.

That's what's new in my world.

Just jumping in a conversation--I am loving this board. You asked for a song...

This song gets me through the day when I imagine my ex from hell singing it...I am great friends with a guy in a band and they sing this song for me every time I come to a gig...

PUDDLE OF MUDD LYRICS

"She Hates Me"

Met a girl, thought she was grand

fell in love, found out first hand

went well for a week or two

then it all came unglued

in a trapped trip I can't grip

never thought I'd be the one who'd slip

then I started to realize

I was living one big lie

She fucking hates me

trust

she fucking hates me

la la la love

I tried too hard

and she tore my feelings like I had none

and ripped them away

She was queen for about an hour

after that shit got sour

she took all I ever had

no sign of guilt

no feeling of bad, no

In a trapped trip I can't grip

never thought i'd be the one who'd slip

then I started to realize

I was living one big lie

[Chorus]

that's my story, as you see

learned my lesson and so did she

now it's over and i'm glad

'cause i'm a fool for all i've said

[Chorus]

la la la la la la la la la love

Trust

la la la la la la la la la love

Trust

and she tore my feelings like I had none

she fucking hates me

Syd, glad to hear the date went well. So cute when guys still get nervous.Thanks for the suggestions, i'll check them out. Yerba buena is the kind of band you want to listen to if you're in the mood to shake your booty,some of the songs range from salsa to rap to reggae--very interesting. A few to download are "Guajira (I love you too much)", "Solito Me Quede" and "Wassamatter baby". I have no idea what some of the lyrics mean (i'm part cuban but only understand a little bit of spanish).

Decz, glad you've kept to your reformed man-whore ways. I wouldn't worry about the fact that she hangs out with a lot of guy friends. I'm like that and it's just because guys are more straightforward and there's less of the competitiveness and catiness than you get when hanging out with girls. She may not want to deal with a lot of the BS that comes with some female friendships.As for the dumb bit, is she usually like that or does she just have her flaky moments? If she's dumb and you can deal with that, i'd just give her the benefit of the doubt and see what happens.

Thanks I think but unfortunately I am not a fan of Puddle of Mudd. To be truthful, I downright resent them but I do like that song, it's catchy. When I said I was looking for a song, I didn't mean an angsty ex song, just a good effin' song. I'm not all that angsty anymore, I left those feelings in adolescence.

I'm glad you're diggin' the board though, I love it too.

Yeah, I'd say so, I love the kid though so we're still pretty good friends. Besides, I too am in a relationship so it's all good. Funny how feelings of rejection disappear when you find someone new.

Sweet ass, can I come visit? lol

I don't know if I'd deem her dumb. Perhaps a little thoughtless? Dumb seems a tad harsh. My friends are mostly male too, I'm a bit of a tom boy so don't think too much about that. I think that's your insecurity flaring up, well, unless she has a history of gang banging her male friends or something, then your insecurity is quite justified. :P Never close any doors but if you start to feel that sweet pull, surrender to it. She sounds like a nice lady.

Sweet, thanks for sharing hun. :) My life as of late is pretty swanky. I have two jobs now, I work at Starbucks and the movie theatre. I go to unviersity for Film and Philosophy part-time, take jazz dance lessons on Saturday and started cantoring at church (not a devout Catholic in any right, I just like singing for people). Dating my boss is not as awkward as I thought it'd be. His only discomfort is that he can't kiss me when he sees me. Otherwise, we act the same minus the sexual activity. I'm trying not to think too far ahead with this one and he makes it really easy not to. He's laid back and kind. Not dramatic or troubled at all but still expressive and a lot of fun. His affection towards me seemed straight outta left field but the more I get to know him, the more it dawns on me that we are indeed compatible.

I love when life surprises you. Love ya later. :)

Sweet, I'm on Kazaa Lite right now, hunting them songs down yo.