EPIC BRUTAL TRUE STORY

Behold, one of the harshest and cruel relationship experiences this side of a shitty days of our lives script. It all began when I moved in with my best friend Dan. It was a two story house with both the floors separated, two different entrances. Me and him lived on top, his sister and their parents lived down the bottom. I’d known him and his sister since I was in high school (am 23 now) and we were all pretty awesome friends needless to say. I started to get to know his sister very well during this period, even though I was seeing another girl at the time I was pretty into her. Trusting my gut instinct I always kept it friendly, more out of respect to my best friend and room mate more than anything but also because *gasp* I actually enjoyed spending time with another human female without wanting to fuck her three ways from sunday. Well, I’m a dunce because I’m now in a world of shit. If you can recall Gomer Pile’s famous quote “I am, in a world… of SHIT”. We got real close, started watching movies late at night, the scary ones, like prepubescent teens, snuggled up, nothing further just a sort of warm friendship which verged on brother sister appreciation and hidden passions below the surface. One night I went out with all of her university friends. I could tell something was up from the sly looks everyone was giving me. Something was about to go down. A river of alcohol later and we were making out, imagine if you can a floodgate of lust being unleashed, she was… in lack of better words, frothing at the gash. We hit it off, back in the cab ride home it was all “I always knew it”, “I can’t believe it”, “wow this is perfect”, blah blah. The relationship was absolutely awesome at the beginning, I told my friend Dan what was going on and he couldn’t be more happier. Her parents had a great opinion of me as well so we all got along like the Brady Bunch. I was too intense for her, she was a casual girl and the old saying never piss where you sleep or shit where you eat or screw your best mate (and room mate’s) sister while she practically lives with you rings home. She asked for a break because we saw each other too much and I was hopelessly, blindly in love with her. Like a moth to a flame, she was my entire existence (I know, I know… I was on a level of stupid which almost surpassed George W Bush in his prime). To cut a long story short. She doesn’t want to talk to me, ever. She’s moved out. All of our mutual friends do not want me to hang around if she is there to prevent “drama”, (thanks a lot you bunch of fucking betraying pussy cunts). She is seeing another guy, who she used to date, and who everyone doesn’t really like, and who in my opinion is far below her standard… Me and her brother remain friends but at a great level of constant stress and feigned smiles. Oh and her parents want me to move out because she feels she can’t ever come home to see her folks. Not only did I lose the girl I loved, my friendship with my best mate is wavering, all of our mutual friends couldn’t really give a flying fuck about me (thanks for the friendship motherfuckers, choke on an AIDS dick you fart sucking cumstains), and I have to move out of the place that I call home. Depression and pain to put it simply, the level of which has by description surpassed the point of any human language. You’ve all been there, this is my first time, I’m loving the ride. Can’t wait for more, life is awesome.

if she thinks you’re too intense.. get you mate to get her over or whatever, and ignore her. show her her feelings are completely unfounded. she’ll start to doubt herself and so forth. might even bring up conversation with you. it’s all downhill from there :)

Do not EVER EVER EVER shit where you eat. You need a better early warning system, mate. Best friend’s sister? DO NOT EVER GO THERE!!! Lives downstairs WITH HER FOLKS???? DO NOT EVER GO THERE!!! Hopefully this will end up being a good learning experience. God knows I did shit like this when I was your age. Good news: you WILL survive the broken heart. But you must learn from this experience! In cases like this, so-called friends will flee to the hills as you have described. You are in a world of shit indeed, but that light at the end of the tunnel is probably not the headlight of an oncoming train, so don’t stress out. Go get laid. Better yet, head to a whorehouse and have four professionals fuck you blind until you pass out. Good therapy. And no matter how you feel about this girl, just remember that in the long run it all comes down to the fact that one hairy hole is pretty much like another, regardless of your opinion at the time of being blinded by cupid’s arrow.

Oh why oh why oh why are human beings so fucked up.

you did it. Learn from it. Move on.

simalar situation dude i love how the “mutual friends” just ditch ay so called best mates dont even call to see if your alright, its fucked up but i guess at the end of it you see who your true friends are……

Epic? Brutal? Please. That was candy ass shit. Man up, sunshine.

I was waiting for some epic story of betrayal, all I got was whining by some stupid little pussy that a girl dumped him. Oh and you got some lame little swipe at Dubya in there? You fucking faggot.

Cock-ward!

Bro that sucks! Don’t listen to these guys calling you a bitch. That’s low by the ONLY thing to do is stop all contact with her and I mean ALL not only will this help you get I’ve the bitch quicker she’ll think you’ve changed and don’t care about her anymore (girls like what they can’t have). As for your friends…. Fuck em’ if they don’t stick around through a tough time then who gives a flying fuck about them. Goodluck fellow bro P.S 99% of girls will become bitches, always brace yourself for the inevitable

…Won’t fix this. So you might be asking yourself why did that bitch use that excuse? Because she’s young and wants to date more guys, now that she knows its easy. So she finally had you, and you we not exactly what she wanted, and she’s not out to please her family. Then she got you kicked out, becasue she coulden’t stand seeing you. It’s that simple. Now here is the advice. Never let a girl get between you and what you have. Becasue American women are out for one thing and one thing only, MONEY. That is it. Why because they are fucking lazy as shit! Don’t cook don’t clean don’t wash. Useless pieces of skin. If you want a good woman, and honest woman. Forget it they don’t exist. So make your money and pay for bitches, never fall in love with anyone of those bitches.

*stands up on the verge of tears and claps furiously*

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