happy girls

i think what we all need to consider is this: are you independent enough to have a relationship? meaning.. do you know yourself at all as a single individual? even if it's lonely sometimes.. we all need to know AND LOVE ourselves before we can provide that for anyone else.

that being said..

happy girls make for better girlfriends. i'll say that it doesn't change their personality.. but it does help if she's confident and secure with herself that she will treat you better.

any chick who tells you there's something you need to change about yourself (whether she puts it directly like that or not) because she's "not happy" either in your relationship or in her life at all.. you need to consider your own feelings at this point rather than hers. there is a good chance she will try to pull something over on you, and has already considered breaking up.. because she is somehow insecure with herself or unhappy in a way she cannot or has not learned to be herself. make sense? she will ask you about what kinds of new things you can do.. she has no direction for the relationship, yet she wants you to do something to make her feel better about it. it's kind of a catch 22.. because most of the time, you can never actually do anything but this potential something must have all her answers.. and she thinks you know all of them. you are a puzzle to be solved and unlocked to a girl who wants to love you.. and a lot of times, that in itself blinds her from her own love.

but she can't unless she is truly happy and loves herself individually. does she have many of her own hobbies? were you friends of any kind before you got together? besides her basic "likes and dislikes" what do you know about her? she probably doesn't know herself, and she is probably insecure about her entire life and where it's going.. and you happen to be the center of it, so you have to fix it. granted, you can't really tell if a girl has "no" insecurities. i say "no" because, well, who isn't insecure in some way or another.

this girl i described.. she is me. i have done this all unknowingly to my best friend and the best love of my life. he woke me up to it all, because i thought i needed to "be free" to be more independent.. like a bad dog i told him to go.. and he left, never to return. what i thought i knew was that he didn't love me the way i needed to be loved, and i tried to show him ways.. but it was so stupid to think i could change him, and the worst part of it all is that i wanted to. i love that kid more than.. well no, i'm not going there, it'll just get sappy and retarded.

i'm just here to say that i know we girls fuck up. guys do too, guys can be just as skanky if not more than girls, but is it because we all have our insecurities? because we all have been hurt before we find it in our nature to repeat what we know and what has been done?

for those of you who are just gonna go "nuh-uh, guys aren't like that, girls are just stupid whores, blah blah blah" don't waste your time posting, please.. you're just annoying. the only people i'd care to hear back from are those who possibly agree or have further insight.. maybe a male POV.

love hurts.. but fighting hard for someone who is really wonderful in every way for you.. is so worth it in the end. and even sometimes damaged goods can be healed, if it is they who heal themselves and prove to be ready to handle the real world with someone who would show them love too.

god this sounds so friggin cheesy. lolz.