make up your mind

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I spent the past 4 years with this bitch and all she wanted to do was marry me so bad but she got fuckin too CRAZY for me from time to time. When I was finally ready to marry her, the bitch dumps me. SICK SICK WORLD!!!

Dude that sucks! I hope that never happens to me. Fuckin bitches

so some real advice – not just “fuck her” or “fuck you.”

if you really thought she was CRAZY, why did u want to marry her? i mean, lots of guys love girls that they don’t end up marrying and vice versa…

unless from time to time you realised that you made her crazy? if that’s the case, then that could be part of the reason why she dumped you.

believe me – i have heard some wacky horror stories about couples, but in the end, when they decide to marry, and the guy proposes right – it works out. and i’m talking for many years. know why? cause they have both realised the fact that this is the person in life who will make them happy. not wondering, not looking to someone else…if you’re acting unsure, or proposing half-assed (did you plan it? or did it just come out?) a real woman can sense that and will leave.

i think the problem with today’s dating scene is – most women are looking for partners, and most men are looking for moms. this is not an insult – think about it. all most women want is some help with whatever her “duties” are, and to be caressed. in return, she is willing to help you somehow with whatever your needs are, and caress you in return. this is not trading sex for shelter. this is called RECIPROCATION.

unfortunately, most men resent the giving part, because they are told by society that it is unmanly and uncool and even unwise. (c’mon guys, admit it. even if you are generous, you have a tally list somewhere in your mind. did you ever tally up the things you were given? remember how much she earns and how much time she has – was it proportionate? meaning, if she earns a third of what you earn, did she give at least a third of what you give back, or more?)

hence, the search for a maternal type – mothers are traditionally thought of as selfless – they don’t need anything in return. great, no resentment on your part, and guiltless sex. strangely enough, these mom types tend to be younger. know why? they haven’t expended their maternal instinct on real children yet, so they have more energy and inclination to be maternal to someone/something else at this point in time. sounds good huh? the catch is, if you find a mom, eventually you will “grow out of her,” as all teenagers do (unless you still live with your mom, then that’s another thing entirely). ironically, you might eventually see her as controlling, b/c what is she trying to pull with all that giving anyway? is she trying to manipulate? and why is she concentrating all of her time on you, why doesn’t she get a life? yikes, it just gets messy.

and if you’re reminiscing for an earlier time when wives acted like mothers to their men and people knew their roles – don’t. there’s a reason why things changed. basically, once the kiddies come along, no matter how super-domestic the woman is – her energy and attention goes to the children, not to you.

so in the end, the only thing that works is finding a real partner – someone you do not feel resentful dependence on and someone you do not resent helping.

to the actionable advice: decide here and now whether this is the woman you want to spend your life with. if she is, then display to her how you really can be a true partner and mate, b/c that is what she is afraid of.

if she’s not, try not to let your bruised ego smart for too long…it’s better that it’s over…and get out of a relationship you’re not that into before the 4 year mark hits next time. good luck to you.

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