Am I being blind??
Submitted by Visitor (not verified) on Thu, 07/30/2015 - 3:22pm
My boyfriend is going to school in the city I live in. We have been dating only for 5 months. Anywhere from 3 to 6 months from now, he plans on leaving for his first job out of school. I have a very well-established career here, and need to consider my next move very carefully. I could see him being “the one” but being so young in our relationship, it’s a little soon to be jumping to that conclusion. But we obviously don’t want me uprooting and following him to a city only for things to fall apart. I essentially have realized now and communicated to him that there is no way I could move that quickly…so our options are a long distance relationship after he moves until I can relocate, or that it just ends when he moves. He has said some of the most amazing and meaningful things to me and I know he truly cares about me…But lately his own uncertainty about what’s ahead is changing the tone and making me feel super anxious. He says he doesn’t know how he (or I) will feel when the time comes for him to move and he doesn’t know if wants to do a long distance thing. In some of our conversations about it, it’s like he’s already anticipating feeling guilty. But I also wonder — what if he gets a job in a city I don’t want to live in? Or I fear that what if he realizes he isn’t as serious as I am about the relationship? So I feel terrified that if I continue for the next few months developing and growing my attachment to him, and giving this my valuable time, it’s just going to be that much harder and more painful when he goes if we don’t decide to try long distance. So, at this stage, how do we go about deciding whether or not to start emotionally separating now before we just cause ourselves more pain? Or are we crippling any real chance we have together by thinking ahead too much? How do I know I’m not being blind and falling for someone who’s just going to end things when he leaves the city? This isn’t so much a bitching rant as it is a plea for any kind of advice you might have. Or to tell me I’m being a blind idiot. Thank you so much for reading.