Still in love, but I have to break up. HELP!!
I've been dating this guy for about 3 years. We were great friends for about 5 years, then in my senior year we started dating. He's really an amazing person. He's very loving but really sucks at showing me how he cares about me. He's great at telling me, but never gives a girl a little pride in her man unless she asks, you know? My problem is, I love him. He knows me inside and out, and I him. We just adore each other, God knows. It's a problem because.. well, he has problems.
In a delicate situation like ours, I'll try to sum up the faults. He committed a terrible crime which has caused him to owe LOTS of money he'll be paying off his whole life. So in short, he's fucking always broke. I pretty much pay for everything, including his food, etc. I love him so much, but I really feel like his mom sometimes, putting up with as much as I do. And I don't mean just buying stuff. He plays the "depressed" card because of what he owes and with probation shit, etc. I feel like I am obligated to help and care for him.. but the fact remains: I'm just fucking sick of it all.
This weekend, my friends and I and my boyfriend floated a river nearby and got pretty drunk. My boyfriend became belligerent as usual (he's Irish, hah)but went way over the edge. He hit me, called me a cunt repeatedly, and got in a fight with one of my best friends (another guy, bigger than him, who beat the shit out of him)because my friend was defending me.
Now.. normally, I would take fucking anyones advice and dump that piece of shit right on the spot. But since we've been together so long.. I wanted to wait until we'd sobered up. The next day (2 days ago) I did the deed. I felt better, but my heart ached with the thought of how much more sad he would be without me. I know I am the only thing that can bring him happiness right now (i am all he lets in) I have trapped myself into this obligation of caring about him that i can't let go. Already I've seen him again (in fact I bought him lunch yesterday.. fuck..) and he calls me and texts me all day long. He still calls me babe.. and I STILL love him. Despite everything.. I can't get him out of my head.
Is the only solution to go cold turkey? To tell him flat out not ever to call me again? My last ex stalked me for nearly 3 years when I did this same thing.. and the last thing i want is for my boyfriend (er, ex now) to haunt me for years.
I just want to move on, but I'm still in love with a loser... what do I do??? :( Wahhhh.
Thanks.
Get the fuck out. Like right
Get the fuck out. Like right know. Explain to him why you dont want to have a relationship with him. After that just stop answering the phone and stuff. Forever.
It's not that easy...
It's not that easy...
Hey there, am totally in a
Hey there, am totally in a similar situation and identify with your anguish. Still get emails from him and calls, and I still love him. But you have to realise, that he is not going to change, period. Ever. And that if you think its going to get better you are just lying to yourself, like Im lying to myself! Be strong and don't give in!
Been there done that
Move on. You'll get over it and it will actually help him more in the long run.
The guy is a no good m'fr
The guy is a no good m'fr user guy. Aw. You deserve better. You would not be out here searching for answers if you did not want to change. I say move on and good ridance to him. "Good luck Chuck" he will get what's coming to him...
"my heart ached with the
"my heart ached with the thought of how much more sad he would be without me." Narcissistic much? He'll be fine. I think you won't because that sentence tells me you are looking for validation through someone else.
I hope
I hope you were able to move on by now. Yes, change is always scary. Sometimes, long term relationships just become mudane and people taking each other for granted. He will always be there. Or she will always be there to come back to me no matter what. No, I'm so sorry. You have to let go sometimes. Do not answer his calls or emails or text messages. Just let him go. Get really busy. Join a few clubs and get out and do stuff even if it means volunteering at an animal shelter or day care center or church or whatever. meet new people and be happy. One day, when you least expect it, the right person will come along!!! Really. I did not think so, and now I can say, I'm totally happy! I wish the same for you too!
When it happens you'll know...
For all the other women out there, you know if it's not right. If it's not, get out, the sooner the better.
just date another guy,and
just date another guy,and forget that jerk
So related!
I feel so related to you....my guy, who I broke up with and totally moved on...n then also eventually got back after an year, has a similar story. Hes a Virgo and its said they dont fuck around dating random girls and really get attached when thet find THE ONE. he says Im the one. Like there's no one better than me he deserves or can ever get. But the fact is, he is damn good looking, totally into happening parties and all that n the buzz around the city kind of thing..so, its a known fact to him but its hypocratic when he's all praises for me one day and the other day he'l act all pricey to make me feel like its ME who's got the best possible catch..like Im LUCKY..as all the girls are after him...uuhh god! He is really damn caring and sweet, but he is so much in search of fun that even he has had a series of minor criminal records and he is what...20?! My folks dont like him and I know they are right. Which mom would like her daughter to roam around with a loser, criminal bf?!
My only problem is, (we stay apart---long distance) I am really emotionally attached to him and my life is so sad and boring in the place from where Im doing my grad from, that even if I wanna get away from him like I did before, I cant. coz hes the only interesting thing in my life...no hot guys around, no parties, sad friends....ehh! I feel just stuck...I try to motivate myself that I WILL get the guy I really do deserve, but the world disappoints me the next moment! Just waiting my life to sound a little happier...without my bf..:(
need advice
here similar situation.
I meet this guy 3 years ago and start been friends and then boyfriend and girlfriend the relationship become so serious that I give him my virginity (stupid mistake).
He is always depressed because of his parents divorce, and always seem to have problem keeping a job (means I always paid everything!!!). I am a senior college student and do not have a lot of money to be paying all the time. I have pay for his gas, glasses, some gun he wanted to buy, food, and every time we go out, plus multiple gifts and stuff. He "tries" to buy me things too but not come one he is older that me 23 years old and still jobless, and depending of his dad to pay him everything.
He is awesome with me and pay a lot of attention for me, really has not change too much since I meet him. :/ he is chovi, and jobless, barely fixing his record (for drug possession), and with not real plans for the future.
He wants to marry me and I said yes, but later decided to break the engagement and now idk about the relationship? is hard for me because of how much he means to me.
He recently start to changes after I tell him I was going to break with him. He start working out, and has a possible good job offer, plus buy me a lot of stuff for my b-day that shows me how much he knows me. but I am afraid this awesome changes are just temporal.
Relationshit
This is the definition of a relationshit. Even if you love the guy, the relationship is terrible and you have to leave. Maybe he will be a different man in a different relationship with a different woman and maybe it will work for him. But it is clear that the relationshit between you and him is terrible and you have to leave for your own sanity.
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