The Richer You Are, The Better The Sex, Says Mr. Obvious

According to a recent survey of High Net Worth douche-bags, "the richer you are, apparently, the better sex you have."

What, really? I'm shocked to learn that rich people have better sex. How is it possible that people who have financial access to the best drugs, any imaginable sex toy and the prettiest people have great sex? That's simply unbelievable.

Worse yet, according to the study, rich chicks have better sex than rich men. That's just not fair.

According to Hannah Shaw Grove and Russ Alan Prince, two "well-known" researchers, "In seeking a higher-quality sexual experience, the number of well-heeled women that lead more adventurous and exotic sex lives, have had an affair, or joined the mile-high club far outdistances that of men..."

These high-class whores apparently "believe their fortunes allow them to lead more daring and exciting sex lives than" if they were commoners with any semblance of morals and/or ethics.

Tragically, I don't make enough money to refute any of those statements...