10+ signs you should dump that psycho

It isn't always easy to decide when to dump your fuck-mate, so we thought we'd start a handy reference guide. See if the shoe fits:

• 1.) You bleed during sex. But she still won't take off the Freddie Krueger claws.
• 2.) He ends every request with the phrase, "or it gets the hose again."
• 3.) You only know she's had an orgasm when she tells you—by phone.
• 4.) He's over 30, clean, lives with his parents and constantly compliments you on your small breasts and boyish good looks.
• 5.) She's never been married and doesn't have any kids "that she knows of."
• 6.) Before sex, he tells you that he loves you forever. After sex, he tells you that he's late for his parole hearing.
• 7.) She spends all your money on sexy clothes that she only wears out with "The Girls" and "Raoul from work."
• 8.) You catch him sniffing your panties, but then making a disgusted-looking face.
• 9.) Her obvious lies are getting harder and harder to listen to, mostly because of that other guy's cock in her mouth.
• 10.) He tells you if you really loved him, you wouldn't scream so much and would just get in the damn trunk already.

Got any other signs people should look for from your own personal experience? Add ’em below for the benefit of others. You owe the world that much...