Even if she doesn't like you, there's a good chance she'll fuck you.

Is there anything worse than getting stuck in The No-Fuck Zone? You know, where you're nice to a girl because you like her, but she just wants to “be friends” and not suck your cock?

Worse yet, she tells you all about some sadistic asshole she just met who she's going to let fuck her in sick and perverse ways? (Want to be that asshole?) Yeah, we've all seen it happen. And we've all heard women deny it. And all you can do is laugh, right?

From those funny bastards over at TheOnion, here's one more reason not to be friends with bitches.