Why you should hurt the one you love.

As if reducing depression weren't enough reason to use your leather belt more creatively than just holding up your ass-less chaps, now there comes word that consensual bondage and flogging can actually help bring "couples closer together."

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Two studies of hormonal changes associated with sadomasochistic (S&M) activities measured levels of the stress hormone, cortisol, as well as testosterone levels at S&M parties, before, during and after participating in activities.

During S&M scenes, hormones rose significantly in those receiving stimulation, but dropped back to normal within 40 minutes if the scene went well. There was no change in those inflicting the activity.

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These studies would seem to scientifically endorse flogging your spouse, but a buzz-kill, know-it-all psychologist quickly added that almost any shared activity is likely to promote interpersonal closeness. "It doesn't have to be tying up your partner or placing clamps on their nipples, it could be something as simple as cooking a meal together or even doing the housework as a duo," he said before probably going home and trying to have missionary-style sex with his unattractive wife for the umpteen billionth time only to end up masturbating with his own tears.