Screw meth and crack cocaine, this is our favorite drug.

You can endlessly debate the merits of a woman’s piercing eyes, her silken tresses or kissable lips, but there’s not a straight guy alive who doesn’t appreciate a woman with killer T&A. And now there’s science to “explain” the “mysterious” appeal of curves.

Prior to wide-spread breast augmentation surgery, there was only one way to get your hands on a nice set of boobs: date a curvy woman. Women with big breasts are, quite frankly, fucking awesome. So it’s not surprising to learn that science has finally “proven” that men react positively to the sight of a real woman.

Brain scans of men revealed that seeing [curvy] women activated parts of the brain linked with rewards, including regions associated with responses to drugs and alcohol.

The drug-like qualities of the female form also helps explain why men try so hard to get their hands on as many female forms as they can — it’s an addiction.

Obviously then, women are the key to solving one of society’s great social issues: substance abuse. Simply by prominently displaying their cleavage constantly, women would provide the same level of intoxication that men currently seek in bars and pubs. Intoxication that frequently leads to barbaric beat-downs and unprovoked ass-kickings.

Surely, men leering at top-heavy women is better for society than men getting into street fights, or robbing innocent people to get money for meth. Imagine the decrease in crime if large-breasted women would simply undo one more button on their blouses or wear deeper V-necks? A few cat-calls and whistles are a small price to pay for such a massive reduction in drug-addled crime and violence, right?

Our point is simple — if you’re a woman who has been blessed with big tits (or had them installed aftermarket), it’s your civic duty to show them off. Not for our sake, but for society’s.

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