Cheating on your wife? Move to Tokyo before you get caught.

Just when you thought those deviant Japanese freaks couldn’t get any more creative in the sexual realm, they go and bring their A-game to the legal arena with this twist ending.

Against all odds and international norms, a Japanese court ruled recently that sexual relationships which involve the exchange of money cannot be considered adultery! (Whaaaa…?!?!?)

[SFX: CHOIRS OF ANGELS SING AS RAYS OF SUNLIGHT BREAK THROUGH THE CLOUDS.]

That’s right, bitches. The Tokyo judge ruled that sex between the luckiest husband in the world and a bar hostess — with whom he’d allegedly slept for more than seven years — was “strictly business,” and therefore did not harm the marriage.

Or as Judge Masamitsu Shiseki put it, “The defendant had sexual relations with her patron only for business, like in cases of prostitution, and such conduct does not damage peaceful marital life.” Bam!

The plaintiff (i.e., wife) contended that the sexual relationship caused “emotional distress” and sought more than $32,000 in compensation — the plaintiff received bupkis in damages.

Was that the right call? Probably not. But after spending seven years with a husband cheating, at least now, she’s finally getting fucked, too.

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