Why the tinder “dating” app won’t get you anything but laid.

The tinder app is simple genius: You swipe through a variety of hotties in your area and swipe right on the ones you like. If they swiped right on you, too...BAM! you’re off to pound-town. So what’s the problem?

If you want to get laid, then tinder is for you. But while tinder neatly side-steps the soul-decimating problem of face-to-face rejection from potential sex partners, it’s no better for finding love than any meat-market or hookup bar.

Some of the reasons why tinder is a shitty dating app:

  • You mostly have physical attractiveness and proximity in common
  • You don’t know if your deviant proclivities are “shared interests”
  • You don’t invest in anyone because there’s always someone else
  • You don’t know if she(he) secretly has a penis(vagina).

The list goes on and on. Seriously. I mean, come on, looks are just like 10% of the shit you need to make a relationship work. And having a killer tinder profile only helps a little.

More concerning to guys who aren’t in frats and women who have a shred of self-respect are the long-term effects of everybody using a hookup app like tinder. According to University of Austin professor, David Buss in a Vanity Fair article:

One dimension of [tinder] is the impact it has on men’s psychology. When there is a [perceived] surplus of women, the whole mating system tends to shift towards short-term dating… Men don’t have to commit, so they pursue a short-term mating strategy. Men are making that shift, and women are forced to go along with it in order to mate at all.

When the article was published, people went nuts and, as a result, tinder lost their shit all over Twitter. But neither camp was wrong. Vanity Fair said tinder is screwing up dating forever (which it is), and tinder argued that lots of people meet and get married using tinder (which is theoretically possible, too). 

Our point is just about expectations and odds. If you’re looking for love on tinder, you’re doing it the hard (but superficial) way. Now, nothing against tinder — it does what it does brilliantly — we’re just saying that you probably shouldn’t use it to find a relationship that will last past breakfast.

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