Just because you have a small penis, are terrible in bed, and have no money doesn’t mean that your girlfriend is doing all your friends. But here are the signs.
If you’re like most guys, you secretly think that your girlfriend is sneaking around behind your back (and if you’re like most guys, it’s a valid and justified fear). Still, it could also be a delusion.
So how do you tell if the love of your life is loving the mailman and pool-boy, too? Fortunately, the lazy bastards over at Mademan.com have cobbled together a bunch of “research” on the subject culminating in a list of nine telling factors that your GF isn’t marriage material.
Here’s a sample of their exhaustive work:
How to tell if your girlfriend is cheating:
1. She’s a faker: Research published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior found that women who regularly fake orgasms.
2. Her mom has cheated: Monkey see, monkey do. That’s the logic behind research from Illicit Encounters, a dating website for married couples.
3. She does the majority of the housework: This research comes from extra-marital dating site Gleedon, which surveyed over 10,000 women and found that three quarters of them were driven to infidelity because their partners didn’t carry their weight domestically.
4. She’s blonde: What do you know, this research comes courtesy of yet another website that assists with cheating. Cheaterville’s research found that women with luscious blonde locks were most likely to cheat compared to any others on the hair color spectrum.
For the five remaining reasons to break up with your girlfriend or file for divorce from your wife, visit Mademan.com. (BTW, number 9 is the worst one.)