The real reason he broke up with you.
Short of a death in the family, breaking up is one of the most painful, agonizing ordeals you will ever have to go through, regardless of which side of it you are on.
For the breaker, it's a guilt-ridden festival of self-loathing, panic and desperation. For the breakee, it's a tortuous, existence-shaking, pail of hot acid splashed in the face.
It's one of the few lose-lose situations you'll ever get into. Nobody wins, everybody is damaged. It's almost enough to put you off dating altogether forever. One bad break-up can scar somebody for a ridiculously long time.
So why get into a relationship? Because we are biologically wired to do so (Thanks, God...). It's the classic moth-to-the-flame scenario. We are drawn into the very situations that will most probably hurt us. Nice, huh?
Did you get fucked?
That's the deal and no amount of bitching or moaning is gonna change it. Relationships that go bad, for whatever reason, are painful. End of story. But how do you tell the difference between an honest, but ugly breakup, and a professional ream job?
First, don't assume that just because someone broke up with you that it was malicious. People are historically bad at breaking up (regardless of sex). No one teaches a class "How To Breakup With The Person You've Been Sleeping With For The Last Two Years Without Hurting Their Feelings". Frankly, it can't be done. So don't blame them for not trying harder.
They DO, however, owe you the favor of being straight-up about it.
If a relationship isn't working for both parties, then it's not working period, and keeping it on life-support is just a waste of everybody's time. So pulling the plug and ending it soon is the right thing to do, no matter how painful it appears to be (it'll only be more painful later).
Why all the bullshit?
Yet, many people dodge the painful truth and candy-coat it with lies. Why? Because nobody can handle the truth. Society has taught us to take "I don't think we're right for each other" to mean, "You suck."
Other famous break-up lies include, "It's not you, it's me" which roughly translated means, "It's you." Another good one is, "You deserve someone better" which means, "I deserve someone better."
You're not THAT huge a loser.
But even the harshest trashing doesn't mean you're a worthless pile of dogshit unfit to soil the shoe of a pedophile.
All it means is that the person you thought you loved, is really a rat-faced, crack-addled, child-molesting, dork-swallowing, scum-licking piece of undigested corn in a heap of dog feces.
So cheer up.
='( that is so true....
='( that is so true.... *Skin falls off from acid burn*... =(
Ha, yeah, I'm the one in the
Ha, yeah, I'm the one in the last quote. Since then I've moved on, and guess who's been ringing my phone of the hook? Yep, you guessed it! The universe works in odd ways...
Run as fast as you can... or
Run as fast as you can... or change your phone number. No need for a repeat.
truth
you speak truth... lol
Halo
the truth is great... Thank
the truth is great... Thank you!
Crazy Shit
Crazy Shit
Why not
You are probably better off. Good riddence I'd say. Guys are great at making things out as if it's the girl's fault - hell they even do it for fun sometimes.
Thank god! This page just
Thank god! This page just gave me hope...my dickhead ex didn't even have the balls to tell me to my face, he sends me a text message that he "fell out of love" and then a week later it's "I didn't mean to say that" and then 2 HOURS later it was, "i don't want a relationship" EMOTIONAL PROBLEMS!!! And how low is this-last day I saw him, he borrows money from my parents AND my brother and never pays them back. Karma is a bitch and the revenge will be sweet!
"I was ambivalent about a long term relationship"
I felt soooo certain he loved me. (No, I was not high on crack - just plain wrong. This brings up major questions about my intuition, which I will not trust again.)
He was falling over himself to be with me. He would act like a geek. He couldn't get enough. And then 'smack.' "I just don't think this is going to work out."
Two days later he is desperately calling. "I didn't think this meant we wouldn't talk." Hello? You broke my heart? What the hell do you think?
That was six months ago. And I am stuck. He rules my thoughts. Rationally, I know this is sick. We have gone out since then as "friends", both knowing we need to maintain boundaries. But he seems to be confused about the boundaries and I let it happen. We always enjoyed time together and had seriously hot sex (physical chemistry was never wanting, but this may be the problem.)
So why the hell, if we have great chemistry and I make him "feel like [he] can be [him]self", and we laugh and blah, blah, blah, does this not work? I probably know the answer, but I need to hear someone say it like it is and my therapist is in Hawaii for the next month.
ok so you got attached , it
ok so you got attached , it happens and you thought that was love. Girl he DOESNT rule a thing unless u let him. So take a good look at yourself and decide is he really worth my time... I know I know the sex was good ... so what ? hop into bed with another dude, yeah I know that sounds slutty but believe me IT WILL WORK MAGIC . And then you ll be the one in control ... and fyi this time be the one that " doesnt think it s gonna work " ... give him a taste of his own medicine.
Yeah I thought my bf of 2
Yeah I thought my bf of 2 years loved me but then dumped me and then asks if we can still talk and be friends and I said under one condition: "No sexual relations whatsoever!" It's payback time.
im crying my eyes out and
im crying my eyes out and laughing at the same time.
what a waste of two years.
haha
i just had a horrible thing happen with this guy i liked and this just made my day..it made me smile after crying :)
so...
fucked me. burn me alive.
oh yea
that was his line...
"you deserve someone better"
and got with someone else the next day *rolls eyes*
You deserve someone better
translates to I found someone else and I dont want to feel guilty but I am letting you go so I can be with them without complications..
Guys who trap you into making a decision so they can walk away
They bate you and make you feel like you were suppose to make a decision. Just because they don't have the balls to come right out and tell you they want to be with you. They then proceed to treat you like shit and ignore you. If they were so into you that they now can't even be in the same room and be human then why the hell can't they just be honost. They have to run from their feelings and make you wonder. Keeping you on the hook or making you feel like you are the one that is fucking crazy. I hate this shit. I hate that I can't get closure because he insists on acting like a prick months later. Get over it, so I can you stupid self obsorbed asshole.
fucker...
after 5 years..the guy calls me out of no where says he doesn't care about me as much as i care about him and then sleeps with another girl the same night....told me 2 months before he wanted to marry me...
Just leave
How about stop sleeping with these loser guys. Just stop sleeping with them and things will change. If they leave because of that, good. Find someone decent instead of someone self absorbed with a god complex.
yes, i got sucked right into
yes, i got sucked right into it. i love you, i adore you, cant live without you. as soon as i had bought it, hook line and sinker, asshole starts wanting his space. are you f'n serious??? now the relationship is on its way out because i am too "needy." whereas i am actually just behaving the same way he was before. i hate to lose this but i dont know how to be "distant" and play those games. ideas?
Confusing shit...
so what's this...me thinking everything is going perfectly, i bought all his I love you, you're the love of my life...till at some point I had the feeling that he was cheating on me. I talked to him asking him if something like this could be even pssible and he was hurt! that I could possibly believe such a thing...Well i didn't have any 'evidence' other then that girl telling everyone on her facebook how she's together with him...blahblah...time goes by and I try to believe him that he has no clue who this girl is, because I loved him and was blinded..while he kept telling me there's nothing for 3 months and didn't try to do anything against it..it all started to fall apart. I broke up with him because he didn't seem to care at all, even though he kept telling me to the last day how much he loves me and how he's not cheating on me. Well guess what...2 weeks later I had my evidence that he was cheating on me. I was so fuckin broken all the time that's why I ended it. But the question remains, why didn't he broke up with me? If he thought this girl is right for him why did he keep pretending to love me and shit?
(Good thing? It's his loss really...yeah I needed some months to get it. Sad thing is also that the girl he cheated on me with had no clue about me and is still dating him...oh well)
Confusing shit...
so what's this...me thinking everything is going perfectly, i bought all his I love you, you're the love of my life...till at some point I had the feeling that he was cheating on me. I talked to him asking him if something like this could be even pssible and he was hurt! that I could possibly believe such a thing...Well i didn't have any 'evidence' other then that girl telling everyone on her facebook how she's together with him...blahblah...time goes by and I try to believe him that he has no clue who this girl is, because I loved him and was blinded..while he kept telling me there's nothing for 3 months and didn't try to do anything against it..it all started to fall apart. I broke up with him because he didn't seem to care at all, even though he kept telling me to the last day how much he loves me and how he's not cheating on me. Well guess what...2 weeks after the breakup I had my evidence that he was cheating on me. I was so fuckin broken all the time that's why I ended it. But the question remains, why didn't he broke up with me? If he thought this girl is right for him why did he keep pretending to love me and shit?
(Good thing? It's his loss really...yeah I needed some months to get it. Sad thing is also that the girl he cheated on me with had no clue about me and is still dating him...oh well)
so what's this...me thinking
so what's this...me thinking everything is going perfectly, i bought all his I love you, you're the love of my life...till at some point I had the feeling that he was cheating on me. I talked to him asking him if something like this could be even pssible and he was hurt! that I could possibly believe such a thing...Well i didn't have any 'evidence' other then that girl telling everyone on her facebook how she's together with him...blahblah...time goes by and I try to believe him that he has no clue who this girl is, because I loved him and was blinded..while he kept telling me there's nothing for 3 months and didn't try to do anything against it..it all started to fall apart. I broke up with him because he didn't seem to care at all, even though he kept telling me to the last day how much he loves me and how he's not cheating on me. Well guess what...2 weeks after the breakup I had my evidence that he was cheating on me. I was so fuckin broken all the time that's why I ended it. But the question remains, why didn't he broke up with me? If he thought this girl is right for him why did he keep pretending to love me and shit?
(Good thing? It's his loss really...yeah I needed some months to get it. Sad thing is also that the girl he cheated on me with had no clue about me and is still dating him...oh well)
You're not THAT huge a loser.
...and chances are, neither is he, simply for breaking up with you. The comment about him not being all that special, and there being thousands just like him, applies to you, too. So you found out that you aren't the queen you thought you were, and that daddy was feeding you sugar coated bullshit when he called you "princess." It may hurt to realize that you, too, are just another hairless monkey trying to survive on in the same jungle as the rest of us banana-munchers, and not God's gift to men. Slap a band-aid on your bleeding ego, and get over it.
"The Relationship that Fell to Hell"
After a whole year of practically spending every day and waking moment together, I started catching him with one girl after another randomly. Crying to him I ask him how can he do this. In a simple, uncaring tone he says "Because I never thought about you as girlfriend type". Are you fucking kidding me? I had dinner with his entire family, went on vacation with him, we even told eachother I love you... and this shit gets pulled, what was I, fucking retarded? There was never any mercy in between us after that conversation. Mean, nasty and self pitying... He pitied himself, after cheating with numerous people. When my mother passed away he had the nerve to tell me that "He didn't feel bad people die all the time" The worst part is I kept talking to him, long past where I should have cut him. By now the cut has become so deep that I am still single. But this gives me hope, I believe I can rise above that shit
The flipside
On the flip side... I was one of those uncaring, self absorbed men who fell in and out of love with no regard for the girl's feelings. I figured I was done and I moved on and she should too. I was seriously in intense relationships twice a year at least for 4 years. Then I wake up one day, watch the notebook and realize I'm a total dick.
This was over 6 years ago and I have really reformed. Seriously, for some reason the stupid movie stirred something inside and changed me. I worked on finding a nice girl, committed to her and married her a few years ago. We had our first child and he means the world to us. It's more likely that she cheats on me now, than I were to do something. The whole point of the rant is that at some point most men do have a switch turn on. Nobody teaches us what to do and what most of us do is follow our dick. Half the time we fall in love, we have feelings for you because we love the sex or the attention. When we do manage to make a connection we are distracted by someone else with bigger boobs, lighter eyes or something insignificant. We walk around not valuing the connection we have made and take it for granted to the point where we know we have something to fall back on so we look for something else... an adventure of sorts. We cheat, we lie, we suck.
At some point, the devil shouting in our ear deafens us and we realize there are other things we can listen to from the other side.
Guys aren't men. Only men are men and we get there after much time and effort. Don't wait around for us to change and don't think you can be the one to change us. Significant change only comes from within.
So don't worry. You didn't do anything wrong, unless you did. It wasn't your fault, unless it was. It's probably that we are idiots for 22-25 years and then we start to use our reason and at about 30 we realize we have a heart that can actually love someone fairly, deeply and honestly, so we start to use that too.
I only loved twice, once when I was 17 and I fell in love with my first love and now that I am in love with my true love.
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