Get sex in 25 words or less.

If personal ads are so great, you may be asking, why haven't they caught on more with people? Simple. People are morons.

When most people write a personal ad, they go about it in a way to attract the most responses—the exact wrong way. Remember, the purpose of a personal ad is not just to find someone to date, it's to find someone with common interests, and to avoid wasting your time with people you don't share interests. You don't want quantity, you want quality.

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The biggest mistake people make is not being specific. Writing an ad that's too general results in generic messages that appeal to everyone indiscriminately—the precise problem they are trying to avoid.

You must eliminate vagueness and misinterpretation. For example, by writing that you love good movies, you don't exclude anyone. Who doesn't love good movies? However, your idea of a "good" movie is probably different from someone else's. (Some guy's idea of a good movie may be a porno flick starring two dwarfs and a mime; is that what you meant?)

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To keep the ad targeted, you have to write, "I love independent movies" or "I love splatter-flicks," and then maybe even list a few examples. Same goes with sense of humor. Who isn't looking for someone with a sense of humor? You have to give men an idea of what you think is funny. There's a big difference between Tim Allen-funny and Jackass-funny. Tell the reader exactly what you mean or else you're gonna end up wasting your money going out with some guy who doesn't have any more in common with you than the ability to read.

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Another mistake people make is limiting the number of words they use in a misguided attempt to be brief; don't be. Say exactly what you want to say in as many words as it takes to say it. And don't use confusing abbreviations to condense the ad so much it doesn't make sense to anyone. Spell it out. It's worth the extra time and cost to make sure your ad isn't misinterpreted.

The hard part is being brutally honest about what you are looking for. You're better off excluding a few possibles for the sake of attracting more definites. You may not get a ton of responses, but the ones you do get will be worth pursuing.