- Section 1: Get Over Him
- Section 2: About guys.
- Section 3: Getting guys
On sex: the female sex trick.
Everybody wants to be a good lay. Everyone wants their sack-mate to tell friends how good they are in bed. And for this reason, people are always looking for a sex "trick." But there is really only one sex trick for women:
Drive Him Wild: A Hands-On Guide to Pleasing Your Man in Bed Unlock your sexual creativity.
Show up.
Show up. That's it. It's that easy. Oh, sure, being naked helps, but it's more important to be willing and enthusiastic. Men are more than happy to handle the whole taking-your-clothes-off part.
Being there is almost always guaranteed to increase the likelihood of your getting sex from a guy. Not much puts a male off the idea of having sex (unless you're really ugly, but even then —if a guy's horny enough— you can get some). Sure there's some weird vagina muscle thing you can do, but frankly, if you're there, naked and willing, men are happy to take it from there.
You could wear always lingerie. Guys love that shit.
How to Be a Great Lover: Explicit techniques that will drive him crazy...
Noise is also a good thing. Not that we're encouraging "faking it". Maybe just embellish the noise you would normally make. Don't worry about waking the neighbors, it's not like it lasts that long (watch a porno to get an idea of what "overdoing it" sounds like).
So let's recap:
Show up. Be willing. Wear something sexy. Yep, that'll do it. No, wait. There's one more thing you can do...
NEWSFLASH: Guys love oral sex.
Blowjobs combine the two things they love most: Sex, and sitting on their ass doing nothing. Other than smoking his pole, there's not a lot to learn about pleasing guys. They're pretty simple overall.
There is a spot between a guy's balls and his asshole that you can stimulate, but some guys—okay a lot of guys—think it's kinda gay. So if it's a new relationship, stick with the knobber. It's a sure thing. You can get to the more advanced stuff after you learn his last name.
So what if you're NOT getting any from your man?
If you're having trouble getting sex from a guy he is:
- 1.) under stress
- 2.) has a medical problem
- 3.) doesn't find you attractive, or
- 4.) is having an affair.
If it's stress, let him get some sleep and catch him first thing in the morning (aka "Morning Wood"). Or get him drunk, guys are much hornier with a few (not seventeen) drinks under their belt.
If it's a medical problem, lovingly explain to him that if he doesn't get checked out by a doctor soon, you'll start doing the pool boy.
If he doesn't find you attractive anymore, dump him and find someone who loves you for who you are not what you look like. (You probably got fat because of his inattention in the first place...so lose him.)
If he's having an affair, pack his shit up, toss it out on the lawn, and get the locks changed. You don't need someone who's not in love with you.
As a woman, you should rarely have to work to get sex. After all, you're the one with the vagina, right?
you could also ??????
if you realy cant get the sex going, why not take a friend along, to spice things up.....
HAHAH love the last comment.
HAHAH love the last comment. Huurray for having the Vagina.
Some people aren't into
Some people aren't into threesomes^. But, yeah. You shouldn't have to work for sex. Sometimes the stress problem is more chronic though and not solved by a night's sleep. Sometimes you just have to generally try to alleviate the stress on him like 1.) pick up some of his extra chores, something sweet that pulls some stress away, 2.) organize the finances so he's not worried about them and maybe buy him a gift he can enjoy and relax with, like a videogame or whatever he likes, 3.) do sexy stuff during the day. My man tells me that he frequently gets 'hot' during the day when I do things like look at him in a particular way, or bend over to cook, or whatever. Exaggerate it a little. You know, another big problem of men not wanting sex is that girls don't initiate anything. You may have a vagina, but if you're in a long-term relationship the best way to spice things up is to surprise him by being actively sexual before he is. My fiance told me that before we had our daughter, that it was just 'really sexy' sometimes if I'd initiate the loving. It helps keep him sexually active in general and, two birds with one stone, the sex tends to help remove stress.
Bull.
"If he doesn't find you attractive anymore, dump him and find someone who loves you for who you are not what you look like. (You probably got fat because of his inattention in the first place...so lose him.)"
Actually she got fat IN SPITE OF the attentino I showed her, and her idea of foreplay with me would get me arrested for sexual assault.
It's easy to tell this shit was written by a woman. Somehow women's shit never stinks, and men stink no matter what. Get a clue, if you act like a ball-buster all the time, block his access to friends and family, and turn into an offensive, shrieking harpy, he's more than justified in finding somewhere else to be - and it WILL be with someONE else, too.
Be a woman, not a man, you'll probably be fine. Demand to be his equal, and he'll treat you like one, all the way to the door he'll slam in your face.
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