Short of a death in the family, breaking up is one of the most painful, agonizing ordeals you will ever have to go through, regardless of which side of it you are on.
For the breaker, it’s a guilt-ridden festival of self-loathing, panic and desperation. For the breakee, it’s a tortuous, existence-shaking, pail of hot acid splashed in the face.
It’s one of the few lose-lose situations you’ll ever get into. Nobody wins, everybody is damaged. It’s almost enough to put you off dating altogether forever. One bad break-up can scar somebody for a ridiculously long time.
So why get into a relationship? Because we are biologically wired to do so (Thanks, God…). It’s the classic moth-to-the-flame scenario. We are drawn into the very situations that will most probably hurt us. Nice, huh?
That’s the deal and no amount of bitching or moaning is gonna change it. Relationships that go bad, for whatever reason, are painful. End of story. But how do you tell the difference between an honest, but ugly breakup, and a professional ream job?
First, don’t assume that just because someone broke up with you that it was malicious. People are historically bad at breaking up (regardless of sex). No one teaches a class “How To Breakup With The Person You’ve Been Sleeping With For The Last Two Years Without Hurting Their Feelings”. Frankly, it can’t be done. So don’t blame them for not trying harder.
They DO, however, owe you the favor of being straight-up about it.
If a relationship isn’t working for both parties, then it’s not working period, and keeping it on life-support is just a waste of everybody’s time. So pulling the plug and ending it soon is the right thing to do, no matter how painful it appears to be (it’ll only be more painful later).
Yet, many people dodge the painful truth and candy-coat it with lies. Why? Because nobody can handle the truth. Society has taught us to take “I don’t think we’re right for each other” to mean, “You suck.”
Other famous break-up lies include, “It’s not you, it’s me” which roughly translated means, “It’s you.” Another good one is, “You deserve someone better” which means, “I deserve someone better.”
But even the harshest trashing doesn’t mean you’re a worthless pile of dogshit unfit to soil the shoe of a pedophile.
All it means is that the person you thought you loved, is really a rat-faced, crack-addled, child-molesting, dork-swallowing, scum-licking piece of undigested corn in a heap of dog feces.
So cheer up.