Women are fucked up about love.

Surely, you say, not all women are conniving whores bent on fucking men over. Well, of course not. Not all women. But some women are, and that’s reason enough to be on the lookout.

Because, as any XXX-rated film graphically demonstrates, women are different than men. They have breasts and a vagina — sure, that’s gloriously obvious. But women are also different inside, too, where it’s tough to get at the problem surgically. Le Difference, as the French call The Difference, has to do with chromosomes, DNA, hormones and/or possibly some form of voodoo (we're not ruling out anything just yet). While we don’t know exactly what causes the “female condition,” we do know what you can do about it: Not a damn thing.

Why? Because chicks are, to be blunt, fucked in the head.

Now, that’s not to say that all men are the poster-boys for sanity — look at [insert current celebrity whack-job here]. It’s just that many women are, frankly, nuttier than your ball-sack. And the fact that they keep trying to figure out how men think is at least partially to blame. Women simply refuse to accept that they don’t “get” men and never will. In the same vein, if you think you have any better chance of figuring out how women think, you should put down the crack pipe right now.

Why Women Want What They Can't Have: Why So Many Relationships Fail.

Be content to know that women’s aquariums aren't filled all the way to the top, and then deal with them the way you would any other crazy person: by humoring her, backing away slowly and calling the authorities.

Not convinced that women are a few fries short of a Happy Meal? Consider the following examples: