Women think different (but not right).
Surely, you say, not all women are conniving whores bent on fucking men over. Well, of course not. Not all women, maybe not even a lot of them. But certainly a few women are, and that’s a good enough reason to be on the lookout for them.
As any XXX-rated film graphically demonstrates, women are different from men — they have silicon breasts and shaved vaginas, among other things. But women are also different inside, too, where it’s harder to get at the problem. Le Difference — as the French call The Difference — has to do with chromosomes, DNA, hormones and/or possibly some form of voodoo (we’re not ruling out anything just yet). And while we don’t know exactly what causes the “female condition,” we do know what you can do about it: Not a damn thing.
Why? Because chicks are, to all outward appearances, fucked in the head.
Now, that’s not to say that all men are the poster-boys for sanity — just look at [insert current celebrity whack-job here]. It’s just that many women, frankly, appear to be nuttier than your ball-sack. And the fact that they keep trying to figure out how men think is at least partially to blame. Women simply refuse to accept that they don’t “get” men and never will. Along the same lines of reasoning, if you think you have any better chance of figuring out how women think, you should put down the crack pipe right now.
Be content with the knowledge that you’ll never understand women, and then deal with them the way you would any other crazy person — by humoring them, backing away slowly and calling the authorities.