An incomplete history of human dating.

There was a time when men and women didn't have to date.

Thirty thousand years ago in the Pleistocene, Cro-Magnon man needed only a big wooden club and a strong dragging arm to get laid (according to Saturday Morning cartoons anyway).

If Ancient Man had had to put up with the relationshit Modern Man currently does, the whole race would've been just a blip on the fossil record alongside the Dodo bird.

It's not really a woman's fault for being all fucked up about dating, however. It's just something else to thank the French for (big surprise). Yes, because of some 12th Century French jag-off poets who invented "courtly" or romantic love, Society now requires a man to first take a woman out for dinner before trying to jump her bones (and then never speaking to her again).

The Art of Courtly Love Made popular by 12th century French pussies

Il est incroyable!

Loving the woman you were nailing was a novel approach in the Middle Ages, since marriages were "arranged" by parents without ever considering feelings. The idea that a marriage could be based on love alone was once thought ridiculous.

Even today, some cultures still prefer the efficiency of "arranged marriages" to forcing their young people through the gauntlet of horrors that is Modern Dating (yet we consider these cultures "primitive").

Find girls to fuck who live near you.

Dating—the modern equivalent of the Spanish Inquisition—is an equally torturous, angst-ridden hell. Guys face rejection, public humiliation, and tenacious STDs. But more importantly, you risk serious bank.

Dating a girl can burn through a helluva lot of cash before you realize she's a fucked up bitch. You may have to take girls out a few times before their truly psychotic traits come out. (Don't worry, they will.) But hopefully, by that point, you'll have already nailed her.

Because women believe that once they put out, you "owe" them. Could just be dinner at to a fancy restaurant. But more likely, it'll be a guilt debt that can only repaid by listening to them prattle on endlessly (use this time to think up an excuse to kick her to the curb while still leaving the door open for sex in the future should you ever have a dry spell.)

Tit-for-tat is just one of the many unwritten, but generally accepted, laws of modern dating. Yeah, Romantic Love is way better than the old club method.

Thanks a ton, Pierre.