Asking women out - a gameplan.

When a woman catches your eye, you're going to want to immediately go jump her pelvis bones; it's only natural. But, unless it's consensual, it's also rape. So try to keep your dick in your pants until she gives you the high-sign. Okay?

Don't Be Afraid To Ask! How To Date A Beautiful Woman, Third Revised Edition

To accomplish your goal legally, you're going to need to flirt with her. Sure, it's pointless game-playing and hoop-jumping, but if you wanna stay out of jail, it's the only way to get her into bed. Sadly, flirting is a game that's stacked against guys worse than Keno. You have to do it right from the start, or you're fucked before you even get going. Despite what every man hopes, sizing you up doesn't take long for a woman. Upon first seeing you approach, a woman can determine whether or not you're getting laid that night in as little as 90 seconds. That doesn't give you a lot of time to let your personality shine. Or does it?

For Men Only: Date Out of Your League

How you walk up to a woman constitutes more than half of what a woman will use to judge you. Were you tentative? Hesitant? Or did you walk up as if you knew she was going to dig you? Before you even open your beer-hole, your body language does all the talking a woman needs to hear to form an opinion about your worthiness.

Your tone of voice is another way women sense your confidence (is it calm and even, or shrill and stuttery?) How fast you talk factors in, too (is it nervous and fast, or measured and confident?). In fact, what you say is almost irrelevant; it's all in how you say it.

The Art of Seduction: A handbook on the most subtle and effective form of power.

Of course, you've gotta say something or she'll think you're retarded. So, then, what do you say? What is...The Perfect Pick-Up Line? For all eternity, men have sought it out; the single sentence that would pry apart any woman's legs, even a nun's. The sacred words that would remove her clothes faster than seven shots of Tequila. Lines like:

• "Look. I hope you won't take this as any sort of 'line,' but there literally is a party in my pants, and you are actually invited. I know how it sounds . . . "
• "Hey baby, wanna go halfsies on a bastard child?"
• "How would you like your eggs in the morning, scrambled or fertilized?"
• "Were both your parents retarded? Because you seem like a special girl to me."
• [NOTE: Use these lines at your own risk. No warranty is either implied or expressed.]

How To Pick Up Beautiful Women In Nightclubs or Any Other Place: Secrets Every Man Should Know

Tragically, The Perfect Pick-Up Line does not exist. Folklore certainly suggests it might, but—like the Loch Ness monster and Flat Taxation—these rumors are just the fevered dreams of very sick people.

To put it bluntly, you're on your own. Because every woman is different, and different chicks react differently to different lines. The legendary "Hey, wanna fuck?" line WILL work on some women, some times (hookers, come to mind). But walking up to strangers in the airport with that ace-in-the-hole is a risky proposition. It might work, but then again, it might get you a full body-cavity search from security. And the smart money is on the latter.

Since you can't tell what kind of reaction you're going to get from a woman, you're probably better off with the one line that guarantees you won't get a mug full of mace: "Hello, my name is [insert your name here]. What's yours?"

How to Attract Anyone, Anytime, Anyplace: The Smart Guide to Flirting

Lame? Without a doubt. And that's why it works. It's effective because there's nothing to it. No agenda that she can see. All it says is "I want to meet you." Not, "I want to take you like a cheetah takes a gazelle."

Of course, the real tricky part of meeting a girl is your next line. She might have liked your opening vibe, but if you don't have a follow-up, the conversation will grind to an awkward halt, and fast. The best idea is to disarm her natural suspicions of men by not living up to her expectations that you're a horny fucking idiot. Really attractive women get hit on all the time, so they know what you want before you even spit out the question.

UpDating: How to Get a Woman Who Once Seemed Out of Your League

Try asking something unexpected, totally unrelated to whatever is going on around you. By being different, women kick you out of the "horny fucking idiot" category and into the "interesting horny fucking idiot" category. Intrigue her and she might just give you the time of day. Just be sure to tailor the question to the type of girl you are talking to. If she's looks smart, ask something intelligent or topical. If she looks like a bimbo, wave something shiny in front of her eyes and lead her to your car. Use common sense. Just don't ask Yes or No questions that give her an easy out ("No, I don't think the music the DJ is playing is crap, and stop waving your keys in front of my eyes!"). Ask an essay question: "How do you feel about [insert current political scandal here]?" Make her think about an answer. It keeps her engaged for a moment which buys you time to think of an intriguing follow-up to your follow-up question. Regardless of the topic, don't try to be an authority on a subject; nobody likes a know-it-all. Ask her questions and get her opinion (even if she's a moron). She'll probably be flattered that you're interested in her opinion-chicks are suckers for that "Gee, you're so fascinating" shit.

That's Not What I Meant! How Conversational Style Makes or Breaks Your Relations with Others.

Once you've made it past the initial contact and preliminary verbal exchange, you're well on your way to Spooge City, Nakedville, USA. But to really cement the deal, you need to use your other head holes: Your eyes. Simply staring into a woman's eyes builds a strong emotional bond between you. Not only that, it gives you clues as to how she feels about you. If she's aroused and/or interested, her pupils will likely dilate. If she's not, her pupils will quickly flash side-to-side as she looks desperately for the nearest exit.

Body Language Secrets: A Guide During Courtship & Dating.

Another way to know how a girl feels about you is to watch her body movements. Women who like a guy tend to imitate his movements and gestures. "Mirroring"--as it's called--tells you that she's interested in what you're saying. This behavior-copying also occurs between friends, too, so don't read too much into it; she could just be imitating you because she likes you as a friend. Or, if she's laughing while imitating you, there's a good chance she's just mocking you. It's a subtle difference.

Complete Idiot's Guide to Body Language Gestures communicate feelings and desires more than words.

In the end, there's no reason to play it cool in the Single's game (except maybe self-respect. But, self-respect isn't gonna get you off, now is it?). Make it a rule to never let a hot girl get away without asking for her phone number or an actual date. Don't let a woman leave your presence without uttering something like, "You're amazing. I'd love to take you out next weekend." (Notice how we didn't say beautiful or smart? Too predictable and specific. She already knows she's smart or pretty. "Amazing" is vague and that lets her define what you mean; she'll think you see something in her that other men don't.) And don't ask "Would you like to go out sometime or something?" It sounds weak and unsure. Be sure to add a specific date to avoid awkward scheduling conversations.

Be confident, but not overly cocky. Tell her what you want. She may still say no, but she'll think that you're a man of conviction and taste who knows quality poon-tang when he sees it and goes after it. So be bold. What's the worst that could happen? Being socially ostracized? Yeah, you wouldn't wanna risk losing your current stature as Mr. Popular, would you...?