Is it kinky or non-consensual?

When the lights go out, anything goes. Okay, well maybe not anything. Despite all the controversy “kinky sex” stirs up in today’s overly conservative, adolescent-minded culture, there’s really a clear line between what’s deviant behavior and what’s criminal behavior. And that line is consent.

When it comes right down to it, the only type of sex that’s “wrong” is the non-consensual variety — be it with minors, animals or decomposing bodies. Certainly, some of the more dangerous kinks like auto-asphyxiation or blood play — even if they are consensual — may be a sign that you need to talk to a professional (psychiatrist, not prostitute) to see if you have some more serious coo-coo issues.

Fetish Fashion: Undressing the Corset

Assuming you’re not clinically insane, the best way to try BDSM is by finding women who are already involved with the community. Try classified ads with an alternative bent like Alt.com. Because dropping a “Let me tie you up and whip you” pickup line on a “vanilla” (i.e. non-BDSM girl) is a sure way to spend 10-20 in the state pen.

Fetish: Dominatrixes, bondage heroines, damsels in distress

Frankly, the human body is wired up and down for some crazy sensations, so why let ’em go to waste? If you’re over 18 and can find someone who’ll suck your toes until you orgasm, more power to you. If you’re over 18 and can find someone who will let you wear flippers and a Viking helmet, go nuts. If your twisted little bent isn’t screwing up your life, work or other personal relationships, you’re not doing anyone any harm. All we ask is that you do everyone a favor and keep the blinds closed, okay? Nobody else wants to see that shit. Nobody.

Roy Stuart: Volume II A window into the world of fetishes

What causes kinkiness? You won’t believe the answer.

So what leads humans to pursue such wacky, sexual behavior? Hilariously, we have the religious nuts themselves to thank for sexual deviation. Without their misguided, hypocritical and repression attitudes about sex, there’d be no BDSM, transvestitism, Nun fetishes, or any of the thousands of other aberrant sexual behaviors. (Kudos, religious tight-asses! Pornographers everywhere, thank you.)

Consensual SM: How to Talk About It and How to Do It Safely

In a textbook example of irony, kinky sex is the inevitable result of folks pushing the “if it’s fun, it must be bad” agenda. Not surprisingly, the activities that really excite people are the ones that are the most wrong. (pre-martial sex, screwing in church, bondage, etc., the list goes on longer than we care to type...) That’s why committing a “sin” really gets your blood pumping, and your dick hard. Taboos actually encourage taboo behavior, just as rules lead to rule-breaking.

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By convincing people they have to be impossibly good, religion inadvertently creates an equal and opposite bad. (Ever notice how there are so few sexual deviants among Buddhists? Hmmm...) The better people are expected to behave; the worse they want to behave.

Forms of Desire A classic by Doris Kloster

Tell someone they can’t do something (or someone) and that’s exactly what they want to do. That’s why marriage and committed relationships kinda suck. Once it’s acceptable to have sex, it’s not as much fun (come on, who hasn’t fucked in their parent’s bedroom while they were away?)

Fantasies of Fetishism:

The “normalcy” and acceptability of a long-term relationship kills the hot, sexual excitement of doing something “bad.” Sure, sex inside a committed relationship can be great, but it’s a more intimate, personal and fulfilling type of sex, as opposed to a hot, dirty and animalistic type of sex.

Sex: Take a Walk on the Wild Side: Masterpieces of Photography

That’s why married couples are always looking for ways just to spice things up a bit (and why adult sex shops aren’t going out of business any time soon.) It’s also probably why a lot of long-term couples eventually start doing anal.