Sadism, Masochism and other ways of fucking.

Once you've mastered The Sex Trick^®, you may be getting so much tail that ordinary missionary-style sex could get boring (dare to dream).

There's already a whole other book called the Kama Sutra written to explain all the physically possible positions two human bodies can assume while having sex, so we won't go into that here. Instead let's look at some of the more creative, fringe opportunities.

Sadomasochism hurts so good.

People used to call it S&M. Now it's just SM. The initials stand for Sadism and Masochism, or Sadomasochism. The former, sadist—referring to someone who gets off causing other people pain (your ex, for instance). And the latter, masochist—referring to someone who gets off receiving pain (like your Dad). There are whole communities out there dedicated to mental and physical abuse; for non-Catholics, there are SM clubs.

Different Loving: A Complete Exploration of the World of Sexual Dominance and Submission

Do SMers sound like a bunch of nut balls? Well, get off your high-horse there, Mister Kettle. You wouldn't be reading this if you weren't sex-obsessed like everyone else. (Even if you just "wandered innocently" to these words, you're STILL reading about it, and voyeurism counts as deviant behavior too, Peeping Thomas.) Everybody has their own sick and/or twisted way of making it through the lonely nights. And, who knows, maybe SMers are on to something here. And maybe that something they're on is drugs.

Let's talk morphine. It's a painkiller hospitals give to patients who don't want to feel, well, anything. It's very popular. So popular, in fact, that people become addicted to the stuff. And lives get ruined because of it, such as [insert celebrity name here]. Morphine is powerful shit. Naturally, the government won't let you buy it over the counter at your local drugstore. But, what if you could concoct a drug a lot like morphine? Legally. That'd be worth a look-see, wouldn't it? Damn straight, it would.

Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism

It's called "endorphins." Your body's own home brewed painkillers. And when you're good and horned-up, endorphins speed through your body like a Tasmanian devil on Crystal Meth making you feel euphoric and nigh impervious to pain. The effect is similar to what's called, "Runner's High." (Endorphins are why you can do crazy sex gymnastics in the bedroom, fuck for hours and never feel bad until the next day when they wear off and you're sore in muscles you never even knew you had).

The Ultimate Guide to Sexual Fantasy: How to Turn Your Fantasies into Reality

Taken to extremes, endorphins let SMers do all that weird sex shit you see in magazines like hanging from hooks impaled in their back. You know, freak show stuff.

SM 101: A Realistic Introduction

It's not that the pain doesn't hurt; it's just that the pain doesn't hurt as BADLY as it seems. Pain in the context of a sexually charged situation is VASTLY different from pain in a normal everyday situation. SMers don't get excited if they stub their toe, or you punch them in the head. (You have to chain them to a big wooden cross first.)

Taboo: Forbidden Fantasies for Couples

An off-shoot of SM is Bondage and Dominance. (Sometimes they're both combined into one acronym "BDSM"). BD differs from SM in that it's less about the physical pain itself and more about the mental aspect of power exchange. BD is about control and responsibility, or the lack thereof. Giving up of control heightens the sexual experience by making the "victim," or submissive, feel helpless and out of control, and/or by making the Dominant feel totally in control. BDSM fans create an environment of 'controlled terror', and possibly pain, to crank up the production of endorphins making getting spanked or whipped a pleasurable rush; an intense high. All without controlled substances of any kind.

Fetish: Dominatrixes, bondage heroines, damsels in distress

BSDM may seem weird, but you've gotta admit; the act of "normal" sex is pretty fucking weird by itself. Seriously, what difference does getting tied up and spanked really make when you're already playing Stick Your Penis In Her Vagina? Let's keep perspective here, people.