What to do on a date to increase your odds.

Once you know where you're going, there's the problem of what to do. How to act. How not to act. What to say. And what not to say. You're under a microscope here, and you don't want to blow it.

Masturbate like a madman.

A good way to ensure that you don't do something stupid on your date is to remove some of the temptation. We suggest that you "toss one off" before your date (i.e. masturbate). Freed from the tyranny of sexual tension, you'll be more able to clearly assess your date objectively, seeing her a human being and possible mate, instead of a receptacle within which to spew your demon seed.

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If you go on a date fully-cocked, your raging hormones could make you do something against your better judgment and maybe even Nature; something most states have harsh laws against. Remember, a bad date is one that ends without sex, a really bad date is one that ends without bail.

Don't pretend that you're something you're not.

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Without your rigid cock spurring you on to do and say regrettable and embarrassing shit, you're free to be your normal, non-horny self. The real you. Just don't be a typical fuck-wad who thinks he needs to be something he's not in order for women to like him. Don't say what you think she wants to hear. Because by being the kind of guy you THINK she wants, you're deceiving her for no damn good reason. Pretending to be something, or someone, else only creates relationships that aren't honest. And any relationship you start that's built on lies will eventually fail.

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Give the girl an accurate picture of who you are and what you believe, even if you don't think that picture is too pretty. Your quirks, oddities and insecurities—a/k/a, your real personality—will come out eventually in the relationship (usually, after a few beers). Ultimately, she may not like the real you, and it's okay if she doesn't like you. Not every woman will. But that's the chance you have to take. And it's a chance you should take sooner rather than later.

Remember, a relationship where you're pretending to be someone else isn't a real relationship anyway. It's a bad TV sitcom plot line.