12 specific kinds of women.

Digging deeper, you can break down the types of women even more specifically, too. Within each of the four core types there are three different types each with its own individual quirks, charms and goddamn hassles.

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In fact, within each Sign there are even more specific types, but that's when you get into the "weird shit" and, seriously, do you have time for that, Nostradamus?

Fortunately, you only have to memorize approximately three, depending on the Sign you are. Study the following cheat-sheet to find the upside and downside of each type.

CAPRICORN

• UPSIDE: Sharp dressers. Smart. Practical. Domestically inclined.
• DOWNSIDE: Often unemotional and distant. Domestically inclined.

PISCES

• UPSIDE: Easy-going and easy sexually. Fun loving, indiscriminate whores.
• DOWNSIDE: Unconventional. Unreliable. Over dramatic.

VIRGO

• UPSIDE: Loyal, compassionate and understanding. Generally have big tits.
• DOWNSIDE: Emotional range from anal-retentive/controlling to hyper-sensitivity.

AQUARIUS

• UPSIDE: Fun-loving, social and always likes to meet new people.
• DOWNSIDE: Total drama queens, control freaks and generally arrogant when you get to know them.

ARIES

• UPSIDE: Intense and more passionate than a romance novel. Only feel two emotions: Love and hate. Not boring.
• DOWNSIDE: Volatile and demanding. Extremely difficult to handle. Prone to yelling.

TAURUS

• UPSIDE: Direct. Upfront. Smart. Tenacious.
• DOWNSIDE: Extremely picky. Persistent to the point of being annoying. Dogged. Let it go already!

GEMINI

• UPSIDE: Smart and fun. These girls like a good-time and laugh at everything.
• DOWNSIDE: They laugh at you, too (often behind your back). Two-faced as a chick can be. Appear schizo.

CANCER

• UPSIDE: Smart, caring girls that are generally levelheaded and logical.
• DOWNSIDE: It doesn't last. Moody as hell. If they didn't invent PMS, then they've got a lifetime subscription. Spontaneous criers who, oddly, like to party.

LEO

• UPSIDE: Total attention whores. Even more than Aquarius'. Nobody likes the limelight more than Leo chicks. And they will do outrageous things to get it. (Think sex in public.)
• DOWNSIDE: They will do anything to be in the spotlight. She wants to be a star, and you better be okay with that, because otherwise she's gonna dump you.

LIBRA

• UPSIDE: Mostly easy going. Like confident guys who make up for their massive insecurities.
• DOWNSIDE: Like the good life and are expensive, indecisive and passive/aggressive.

SCORPIO

• UPSIDE: Love sex. Intense. Passionate. Loyal.
• DOWNSIDE: Serious hotheads who are quick to bite your head off if you piss them off. Watch your back.

SAGITTARIUS

• UPSIDE: Surprisingly lacking in morals. Love their freedom and are pretty free with their love. Their enthusiasm is infectious. And they like to travel.
• DOWNSIDE: Extremely energetic, flighty and talkative. They run through life a mile a minute. If you like a calm, reserved, quiet lady, look elsewhere.