Handling everything that’s going on inside the typical adolescent male — from growth spurts to dick spurts — is no easy task. And “being yourself” isn’t usually your first reaction when you meet someone new. Especially when that someone new is a hot piece of ass.
In that situation, most guys kick into “cool-mode” — that is to say, they act like total fuckwads. Young guys always initially overplay it. In attempting to put their best foot forward, most guys end up sticking it in their mouth instead. Being cool is more about what you don’t do than what you do.
First, don’t overreact. Insecure guys let insults and taunts get to them and react violently; cool guys let that shit slide.
Think about it. You can’t control other people, but you can control how you react to them. So always chill; losing control in the face of adversity is never cool.
Take Clint Eastwood’s lead; he’s the epitome of tough-guy cool. But Clint never yelled at anyone, even when he was pissed. He never mocked or bullied anyone. And he never started fights.
Clint was a Zen Master in that way. After all, the best reason to learn martial arts is so you never have to use them.
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The trick to being Clint Eastwood cool is staying within yourself. By being okay with who you are — and not looking to others for approval — you can control your own reactions, and that makes you cool. You give off that “strong, silent type” vibe.
Chicks dig mature confidence, not the short-tempered pettiness of a small-minded, paranoid fuck. So don’t get all “aggro” in a misguided effort to appear confident. Psychotic rage is not the same as confidence.
Yes, some insecure girls may like you to fight for them — to prove your love by risking jail-time on assault and battery charges — by implying that you’re devoid of balls, chicken-shit or a pussy.
But before you let some skirt push your buttons, remember, confidence is realizing that you don’t have shit to prove to anyone. Least of all, some psycho bitch.
If you’re still uncomfortable being an asshole, you’ve really only got one option left. Enlist the aid of Man’s best friend: Spot, Fido, Patches, or whatever. If you don’t have one, go buy a fucking dog.
Seriously, chicks dig a guy with a fuzzy pet (no fish). It shows that you don’t immediately kill living things in your care (a big plus when she wants to have kids one day). Also, women are suckers for cute animals, no matter what they smell like.
If you can’t buy a dog — because you’re cheap or your landlord is a dick — borrow the dog of a married friend. Most married guys are more than happy to let someone else walk their flea-ridden crap-factory once in awhile. Take the mutt around town on its leash, or let it run free in a park where it will make a beeline into the crotch of every woman within fifty yards.
Face it, dogs have it made. The least those freeloading ball-lickers can do is help you get your balls licked once in awhile, don’t you think?