why you got dumped - you like the wrong chicks.

Most likely, the reason for your failure with the fairer sex is that you like the wrong kind of woman—for you, anyways. And that just sets you up for serious disappointment and painful hand blisters.

What Type Am I? The Myers-Brigg Type Indication Made Easy

No, the best way to minimize your public humiliation is to learn why you like the women you do. To understand why you always go for the slutty psycho-bitches. The whiny whack-jobs. And the emotional ticking time-bombs.

Probably, it's because you're a fuck-head.

But, not just a fuck-head. You see, there's a good reason for your pathetic, moth-like attraction to bitches who will ultimately decimate you—you can't really help it.

I'm Not Crazy, I'm Just Not You The Sixteen Personality Types

The female traits you find most appealing are ultimately out of your control. You're hard-wired (and we do mean, hard) to like certain traits over others. Traits that indicate healthy breeding partners, for example.

Physical symmetry is a common criterion for what constitutes "beautiful" to guys. Most guys tend to like chicks whose face and body are the same on both sides. Supermodels have near-ideal symmetry (go ahead and check, we'll wait). It means a girl either isn't genetically fucked up, or knows a good cosmetic surgeon. But symmetry isn't something you consciously notice about a girl, it's something your subconscious perceives. Asymmetry, on the other hand, stands out like her hideously oversized left ear.

Man's subconscious scrutiny of women isn't restricted to the face, however. Guys also tend to notice a woman's body. And, whether they realize it or not, guys go after chicks with the classic hip-to-waist ratio of 0.7. (You can calculate this by taking a girl's waist measurement and dividing it by her hip measurement. Just don't do it on a first date.) Women who have this "hourglass" ratio—regardless of their total weight—are seen as reproductively healthy or, in other words, extremely doable.

Lovetypes: Discover Your Romantic Style

Another attraction reality you can't control is that you're a mamma's boy. Don't try to deny it, you pansy. Studies indicate that what guys really find attractive in a mate is, shocker... themselves. And since women who look like men aren't that hot, men go for the next best thing: women who look like their mothers.

Relax, don't get all Oedipal on us here. The reason you find your Mom sexy isn't as creepy as it sounds—it's because your Mom looks like you, you egotistical bastard. And you thought you loved her for "always being there for you." Dream on, sicko.

But by the time you're of dating age, your sexual preferences in girls have already been set. And formative childhood experiences are nearly impossible to overcome, so it's kind of pointless to try to like something you don't (at least physically). Face it, you like what you like. If you have a fetish for small breasts, large feet or pale skin, knock yourself out.

Just don't let that stop you from dating women who don't exactly match the deviant images burned into your twisted brain, freak-boy. Shoot for the moon, but stay open-minded to other types, too, even if they don't have the extra thick body-hair or webbed feet that turns your crank.

You could be missing out on something even better than silver dollar-sized aureolas.