Breaking up is hard to do.

Did you think dumping you was easy for her? Do you think punching a fist through your sternum, ramming through your rib cage and wresting out your still-beating heart was fun for her? Assuming you weren't dating a Zombie, the ordeal most likely sucked for her, too.

Going through a breakup is one of the most difficult, gut-wrenching traumas you will ever have to endure, regardless of which side you're on. For you, it's a tortuous, existence-shaking, pail of hot battery acid splashed in the face. For her, it's a guilt-ridden festival of self-loathing, pity, regret and remorse. Relationships that go bad, for whatever reason, are painful. End of story.

How to Survive Dating: Some Things to Avoid

Still, there's a difference between an honest (but ugly) breakup, and a professional, no-lube ream job. How do you tell? Well, to be fair, don't assume that just because she broke up with you badly it was malicious. People are historically bad at breaking up with others. No one teaches the class "How To Breakup With The Person You've Been Fucking For The Last Two Years Without Hurting Their Feelings" because, frankly, it can't be done. So don't blame her for not trying harder.

She does, however, owe you more consideration than just keeping you in the dark and feeding you shit (aka, The Mushroom Treatment). She should tell you the truth about her feelings the moment they devolve into resentment, bitterness and despair.

If a relationship isn't working for one of you, then it's not working for either of you, so pulling the plug is the right thing to do—no matter how much it hurts. Keeping the relationship on life-support is just a waste of everybody's time, and your money.

In the end, the best way a girl can break up with you is the same way you rip off a bandage—fucking fast. Straight up, no chaser. It hurts like a mother at first, but then the pain doesn't last as long.

Sadly, the best way isn't also the easy way. So many people dodge the truth and candy-coat it with lies, wrongly assuming the breakee can't handle the truth. But that doesn't give the breakee enough credit. People are resilient. They will get over things like that.

Even babies like you.

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