get your life back after a breakup - and your penis, too.

Inside every fucked up situation—such as being shit through the Love-Shredder 2000®—there's always some small reason not to swan-dive off your local suspension bridge. The trick is finding it. Sometimes, it's obvious. More often, it's hidden better than your Ex's true unholy nature. Getting dumped may not seem as though it has many upsides, but consider these perks:

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You can be yourself

Undoubtedly, your Ex had the common female fixation on keeping the apartment or house clean. Now, a clean dwelling isn't a bad thing, certainly, but it's hardly worth the time and trouble to keep it that way. Without your Ex around, you can drop your clothes right where you took 'em off. Leave beer cans all over the house. Eat over the sink or right out of the box. Put your feet up on the furniture. Opt not to shower. And watch the ball-game without interruption for a change.

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When the mess gets out of control, you can always hire a maid who, unlike girlfriends and wives, won't give you that disgusted look when she sees your underwear on the lamp, and will (even better) go away afterwards...just like a hooker. Of course, you could also just pack up and move to an entirely new, clean apartment altogether. (Isn't that what security deposits are for?) It's your choice.

You'll save money

In addition to the hassle of living with a woman, there's the added costs. If you dated your Ex through one major holiday, then you know women can be fucking expensive—especially the better looking ones.

Women like to blow money on a lot of weird, pointless things. And we're not just talking about jewelry, designer clothes and fine dining. Don't forget the scented candles, doilies, potpourri and flowers that die two days after you put them in a vase. Hey, that shit adds up.

But without a woman, that extra money can go towards stuff you want: a 7.1 digital receiver with surround sound, a 51-inch, High-Def 16:9 LCD screen, and dual 15-inch subs. Hell, you could wear the digits off your credit card at the adult video store every week and still come out ahead of courting a typical female.

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You're can screw around

Another bright side to singledom is recovering the one thing you probably didn't even realize you'd lost: Your masculine dignity. As a single guy again, you no longer have to beg for sex. You don't have to debase yourself to one woman's whims and moods. You can once again stand tall, proud and erect. Because you have regained total, absolute dominion over your best friend—your cock.

In the relationship, your cock was deprived of its true purpose. Its reason for being (hard all the time). There were limits on what you could do (and whom you could do), with your John Thomas. Now, as a single guy, you are again legally allowed to use your penis the way Nature intended. And in ways Nature never intended and would be none too happy to find out about (see Chapter 4).

You're more attractive to women

Last, but not least, of the perks is that getting dumped makes you pissed. How is that helpful, you ask? HEY, JUST TAKE OUR FUCKING WORD FOR IT, DICKHEAD!

See? Anger is the typical male response to...well, pretty much everything. And, in addition to a semi-permanent scowl, anger gives guys a "who gives a shit" attitude—about life, love and getting into new relationships.

Your reluctance to dive back into the dating pool makes you stand out from typical horny guys most women meet. Women aren't used to guys who don't suck up to them to get sex. Therefore, you appear more intriguing to them. When you're angry, you're more yourself (or, at least, your angry self, anyway). And that's closer to your true self than the major suck-up you used to be.

Not giving a shit makes you more confident, too, because you're more in control of your life. Because women have no power over a man who doesn't want to get laid (a rare occurrence, to be sure). So for this brief period of time—until you get over the break-up—you have the advantage.

Yes, things are different now. As master of your manhood once again, you're free to fuck any girl who asks (or who'll let you). You're back to being a guy. Fulfilling your prime directive. Doing what you do. So make the most of it. Enjoy your freedom. It won't last forever.

But, it could last longer than you want it to, or can stand. In that event, you need a backup plan.