maybe the breakup was your fault.

Before you go to a bar, get all tanked and tell everyone that your Ex is a whore who'll fuck any guy with a dollar and a dick, consider that the blame for the breakup may belong to someone else. Namely, you.

Was it all your fault?

Why Is It Always About You? Saving Yourself from the Narcissists in Your Life.

What? You're stunned, right? (Yeah, nice acting.) Hey, women typically blame the man for bad relationships for one simple reason: It usually is the man's fault. Because, with a few exceptions—think figure skaters—men are pretty terrible at getting along with women.

As a result, if you're like most men, you're probably hard pressed to identify the exact time and place that you finally, and totally, fucked up the relationship beyond repair. It generally comes as a complete shock to guys. Or, as a reading lamp to their head.

Why? Because men just aren't in tune with a woman's moods. It's understandably tough, though, as women's moods are as predictable as earthquakes (and if either one is bad enough, you could lose your house). Luckily, a woman won't generally leave a man over something trivial. Women will, however, leave a man over something imaginary (see Bitches are Crazy). Often men get blamed for shit they never actually did, but women just thought they did.

Regardless, if the break-up was your fault, there were probably signs. Signals she was sending out that you just weren't picking up. Subtle looks, innocuous glances and shit no guy could possibly notice without 24/7 video surveillance, and then she'd complain you're being "too possessive". In reality, the "problem" you didn't notice was likely building up for some time. Days, weeks, maybe even months. And, in all that time, you never noticed. Obviously, you don't really care—enough for her that is.

When Good Men Behave Badly: Hey, look, there's a whole book written about you!

Whatever that critical event was, face facts, you missed it. But take comfort knowing that damn few men would've done any better. By the time a relationship gets to the point where the man notices his woman acting funny, he's already been written off. The contract mob hit has been ordered. The wheels are in motion. It's all over but the shouting. And here comes the Fat Lady to sing. Just for laughs, let's look at what you probably did wrong.

The Nice Guys' Guide to Getting Girls: You CAN be a nice guy and STILL attract women.

Were you too mean?

Sure, women act in mysterious ways and fucked up ways, no argument there. But did it ever occur to you that maybe she was right to trash your ass?

Yeah, consider it for a moment. Maybe the reason she left was that you're a fucking jerk. A self-obsessed, insensitive bastard; oblivious to her needs. A "taker," like a mugger, a CEO of a major corporation, or the IRS. A guy who takes a woman's time, effort and affection and doesn't give anything back. The kind of jackhole who thinks of no one but himself. Sound like you? Probably not.

Now, while most women—surprisingly—DO like that kind of guy, some chicks don't. Namely, the sensitive kind. They actually prefer "givers", who give their time and affection without expecting sex in return; guys like Santa Claus and, uh...hell, we can't think of anyone else. (Kinda explains why sensitive girls aren't reproducing in large numbers anymore, doesn't it?) Anyway, if she was the kind of girl who'd cry during a douche commercial, then your being a raging jackass could've easily been the cause of your trouble. Then again...

Stumbling Naked in the Dark: Overcoming Mistakes Men Make with Women.

Were you too nice?

But, if your Ex moonlighted as a Roller Derby Queen, Professional Wrestler or Dominatrix, it's entirely possible she dumped you because you're too much of a pussy. (You can't win for losing, can you?) Women don't want a guy who's too nice. In fact, women hate it when guys are really nice to them. It makes them feel guilty that they aren't nicer to you. There's a certain natural order to things that women are most comfortable with. For example, they like it best when you're a disappointment to them, not the other way around.

Find girls to fuck who live near you.

Despite the best efforts of Feminism, many women still hold onto the time-honored ideas of how a man is "supposed" to act. They have a very traditional image of their ideal man based on their own father (you know, the strong, protective, alcoholic kind who shows his love with his fists). Okay, maybe not that traditional, but women still like a real man's man.

The "Sensitive Man" concept was something women thought they wanted in the '70s, but wised up once all the drugs they did in the '60s wore off. Sure, the idea of a man who acted like, shared like, and even looked like a woman seemed good on paper, but all it did was make women feel like lesbians. Very confused lesbians.

Women may say they want a sensitive man, but they really don't. They want a man who can tolerate all their fucking psycho bullshit. One who can put them in their place, but one who, for some insane reason, doesn't. And that, you can bet, takes an incredibly strong man.

Hollywood hits and "mature" movies (wink, wink), mailed discreetly

Assuming we haven't touched on a reason that fits your situation, what else could account for your singleness? Let's take a walk over to the nearest mirror. Don't like what you see? Evidently, you're not alone, Sasquatch.

Were you too ugly?

Women will tell you they aren't just into looks. But they are (especially if they don't need a guy's money). They might not be as superficial as men, but they still recognize a hot piece of ass when he walks into a room. Women instinctively know the true importance of good looks—attractiveness equals health. And a healthy man is one capable of knocking them up with offspring who will also be good-looking enough to score hot mates themselves (thus ensuring that they pass on to future generations, the all-important Vain and Shallow genes).

Why Is It Always About You? Saving Yourself from the Narcissists in Your Life.

Now, the fact that a woman dumped you doesn't necessarily mean that you're hideous and need extensive cosmetic surgery (although if the shoe fits...). It just means that you were dating out of your biological league. Hope you enjoyed the ride, Icarus, cuz it's over now.